The Older Men

   Dating Older Men: The Good, The Bad & The Silver Foxes
After a brief battle with the suds (thanks, SpongeBob 🧽), Kay & Heatherr are back and diving headfirst into the world of dating older men 👀👴. In this episode, we’re spilling our craziest experiences, breaking down the highs and lows of age-gap dating, and playing a silver fox edition of Hump, Wed, Slash 🔥💍❌. Plus, we’re wrapping things up with our Naughty & Nice date idea list 😈❤️.

Is dating an older man really better? Or does it just come with a different set of red flags? 🚩 Tune in and find out!

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We as women, we love an older man. Oh absolutely. We love, we love men in general here at Dating and Reverse. Welcome in Heathens. This is Dating in Reverse where we acknowledge the weird and wild cesspool dating culture has become, but we're still diving in head first. I'm Kay Heather. And I'm Heather Nicole. We're always sharing outrageous date stories, playing a few classic games, so grab your tipple, moisturize your lips, take a hit and come join us. Ugh. We're back. We are. And we're alive. We're alive. Alive. Apparently. If any of y'all went through that. Norovirus. Noro? Gosh, bless you. That's terrible. I feel you. Because that was, and you got it back to back. You got it. Oh, got three weeks and then three weeks later got it again. Yeah. I kept saying, you're a good person. You don't deserve this. And I'm like, well, I lost weight, but it wasn't the healthy way. Right, because it's back to back. Yeah. And like my desire for food is less. Mm-hmm. Too. Yes. Like I just, I'm like, Ugh, I don't want to eat. I've gone back to like my things that I really, really love, but other than that, I'm like, I don't, yeah, it'll come back. But yeah, I'll never eat kale again. And we both had kale the day it hit. I don't blame kale, but I'm starting to wonder like, wait a damn minute. Everything else has been recalled. Right. Oh, wow. That's what I'm saying. Something happened. Something happened with the kale. We're gonna hear about it because I had a kale smoothie the day it hit me. And you had a kale salad. I did. The day it hit you. Perfect copycat dupe for the Chick-fil-A one. I'm so mad because, you know, I was like, oh, I'm gonna have like a healthy hyper sation meal now I'm right back to pasta. Yeah, it but good too. It was good. It was good. I, I mean, I can still give you the recipe if you want it. It did taste just like the one at Chick-fil-A. The one at Chick is really over for a little bit too. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so we're back. Thank you for sticking around. We wanted to release an episode, but it just didn't happen that way. and life barely happened. So, and, and there's a, an episode that premieres before this that we filmed the week we got sick. Mm-hmm. So now you're seeing us back. From being sick. Yeah. But today we're gonna talk about the older gentlemen. Mm-hmm. The Oldman's because the Silver Foxes. Yes. Like my, the second story, my name is Silver Fox for sure. We as women, we love an older man. Oh absolutely. We love, we love men in general here at Dating and Reverse. 'cause we've dated guys who are younger than us as well. Mm. But there's something about that, like I do the older, older gentleman, silver Fox, like I'm getting ahead of myself. They say men get better looking as they age. So, no, I mean, not all of you, not you problematic ones, but listen to what Heather said. That's what it is. Listen to what Heather says. Yeah. Yeah. You could definitely tell the kind of person a man is, especially from the way that the age is. Exactly. That's what it's, that it is. Mm-hmm. So if we see a fine silver Fox, we're like, oh, you must be a good person. Right. You did something right. You did. So to be able to still us with them looks that part. Mm-hmm. we are gonna play Hump we slash as always. And a quick round of the nice naughty date list. Yes. That's it. So you wanna kick it off? I will kick it off. All right. Awesome. I guess I'll kick it off with my more scandalous, frowned upon one. 'cause I was younger, right. This is a very much a do as I say, not as I do kind of thing per use. 'cause I was 19 years old. We need that on a shirt for you. Absolutely. Yeah. Because I was 19 and he was math. He was 15 years older than me. 34? Mm-hmm. Okay. And I only know that 'cause I would joke haha. When you were graduating high school? I was graduating kindergarten. Oh my god. See, putting it in perspective like that for men, like, does that affect y'all? Because it affects me. If I think about a guy that I'm dating that's that young, it would freak me out. Does that affect men? Like oddly enough, I don't feel, I don't have any ill will towards him. We're still friends on Facebook, so I still see what his life is. He still looks good. So, you know, we work together, but two different departments. I'm talking accounting and it like. Our paths never crossed anything like that. Like, uh, him being a boss or like anything like that. Right, right, right. Okay. The only reason I went into this and was like, okay, and up with it was because, I'm not gonna lie, unfortunately, I am the biggest lover girl in the world, and every guy date and like, we're gonna get married. Mm-hmm. Don't tell anyone. But in that situation, right, in that situation, I was like, no. Like I wouldn't ever wanna date this guy 'cause no offense if you see this. I was like, I don't, I would, I, he was just as much as a secret for my life as I'm assuming I was for him, although I met a lot of his friends, but I would never wanna date someone like that. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Hey Katie, who's also 20 years old, here's my 34-year-old boyfriend, like I said, so I was like, this is fun and experience. That's quite literally all it was. So, and the fact that we worked together just kind of made it more scandalous, so. Right. But it wasn't in any kind of, it would help my job or anything like that. Right. 'cause like I said, it was literally, it just a coworker. Right. Exactly. But it all started because it was a smaller, trucking company. Mm-hmm. And I had sent in an email, essentially to everyone looking for a folder. And he wrote back something about no one has your fucking folder or something like that. And I was like, oh. But I knew, I knew he was just playing around. It was like that. But then a million little faces. And I don't even think he said, he might not even said fucking, but he was like, no one has your folder. And I was like, oh, like he's fucked with me. I know. I mean, like that too. So, okay. So I guess it just kept going and going and going. And then before I know it, we exchanged numbers the was coming up and we made plans to hang out. He was in the middle of divorce, so he moved outta the house and he was staying with his friend. So I went to his friend's house and I'll think, so his friend had a chick there too. And I guess she knew how old I was before I even showed up, because once I showed up, she was like, mean to me and kept saying, let's go to the bar. Oh, we can't. I'm like, okay, go to the bar. Bye on you two. Go to the bar then. That's fine. But so since, you know, and I very much stood my ground, like, no, it'd be more fun here. And they never went to the bar, obviously, so, so I'm like, oh, this is probably also a 30-year-old woman. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hating. Right. But, it, it didn't last too long. The funniest part about this, like I said, he was going through a divorce. And I was just walking around. I had to go upstairs to the secretary to get our mail. Well, all the mail was scattered out, so I was like, whenever got the one for accounting. And I seen the little piles and I seen the top one had Tommy's name on it. And from my lawyer's office, I was like, oh, I bet you this is something from the divorce. So I was like, oh, I'm gonna grab it's mail and I'm gonna take it back to them. He was getting his personal mail at the job? Yeah, I guess. 'cause like, I mean, he technically was an investor or something like that. It was very like, it wasn't like a, he and her didn't want, I don't know what happened with them, but they very much were over each other. Like they were ready to just move on. they cut it real quick, like it was a quick divorce I've ever seen and like, you know, I'm checking those things. So I seen that it actually really was but I was like, oh. This is something to do with divorce. I wanna take this down to him. So I was like, I'm grabbing it's mail as well. So I walked down there and I'm like, Mr. Wiggles, I got something for you. I didn't know Mr. Wiggles exactly what it was. Mr. I'm like, how? I'm gonna put a, a wiggle up there. Okay. Continue. so I was like, Mr. Riggs, I got something for you. 'cause I was like, how funny is this to serve him some sort of, you being the person to serve. And I think that it was like the official like served papers. I'm like, oh, okay. That's cool. That's fun. We hung out. I would come and see him after I moved and left that job. And then I, after I left, because we kept it secret, I don't think anyone at the company, if you would want anyone to know, I mean, I wouldn't really care, but I mean, it looked worse on him than it would for me. So exactly. He, I, after I left, I guess everyone found out I don't really care. But when I would stop by and come into town, like I would come in and I would say hi to whatnot. So after you left, people knew. Knew? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Did they make it dramatic or, uh, a little bit. Not really. I think a lot of the, the women didn't know, the men more knew new. the women didn't find out until like way later. I was like in my late twenties when, someone found out and they were like, oh my God. Was it like a groom kind of thing? And I was like, no, no, no, no. Not, not at all. No. I was like, it was just fun. He had a friend that's been with Hotter, but. Oh, it's the worst. Yeah. Been in that. Yeah. Yep. Mr. Wiggles. Mr. Wiggles. I love it. But it was fun. I wouldn't suggest it for anyone, but it's not like he, you know, was like, oh, we're gonna be together. And it's not like I was like, oh, I want us to be together. It was, I mean, he was going through a divorce. Right, exactly. Exactly. Either way. But still, I mean, in, gosh, you could probably trip me up in that right now. That is the right person., I'm more all, I'm more now, like if I am talking to someone, like I do want it to work out, so I would never even entertain someone that I wouldn't want to date. But in 19, I was like, experience. Yeah, exactly. And an older man, I'm gonna learn some things that's, and then I gonna take them on the road with me. That's right. That's right. Yeah. I actually did hang out with him one time after I could drink. I don't remember much about that, but I do remember, I do, I don't, I remember, I just remember meeting him down at that bar, and then I remember going to his, I remember gonna his friend's house and they're older, but I'm a little bit older at the point, it was like 22, 23. and I remember the wife of the dude being like, you guys, like I see something between you guys. And we were like, no, really Not at all. Not, not, not at all. It just never, no, no. He's very much not my type. He wasn't, brown hair, dark eyes. He had like blonde hair, blue eyes. And again, I mean, you really stick to your type, don't you? And he just, you know, I'll be honest, that was just kind of weird. Like, you're so much older. I would've never be able to take someone. Like you see her, so, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I feel that growing up, my friends would be dating guys that are much older and just never mm-hmm. It's not the flex that they thought it was to me. Like it just felt predatory. Yes. It's just like, why can't they date someone closer to their age? That is a thing, because I'm not putting this all on men, but older people, dating younger people, it's oh yeah. 'cause even if that would've been a 34-year-old woman in a 19, like that's still, it's all weird. Yeah. The situation was weird. I just, I know the, the. Uh, somehow the clear headedness, I was into this, you know what I mean? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't worried about it. Yeah. I knew that it wouldn't be anything, but that's very rare. Yeah. Normally it is some kind of predatory grooming kind. Exactly. Situation. And that's the first thing I think of. 'cause I'm being judgmental. Right. Oh, this guy must have groomed her. Right, exactly. But growing up, for me, that just was a no go. Mm-hmm. I was not dating people. Maybe I think three years was like my max. Yeah. Anything older than that, I was like, all right, you're pushing it. Go find someone your age. No. After that, I did do it again until I was 33 and he was older, but Yeah. It is a very weird situation. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Even in high school, if you were a freshman and you're dating a senior, it's like, oh wow, you're cool. But like, why is this senior. Wanting a 14-year-old girl. Yeah, well, not just that. Me and my girlfriend were talking about it when we were on the walk. Uh, 'cause she would date older guys and I remember the girls would be like, so mean to her, the things they would do to her. Like these seniors versus this freshman. All because your ex is now dating a freshman. Yeah. Like Oma it was horrible. And I'm like, he don't want nothing to do with you. And you just the crazy picking on this little tiny twig little girl. Yeah. Yeah. I, I dated a, senior when I was a freshman for a couple months. But you could tell that our mindset frames were two different, I was still like, I wanna have fun with my friends. Mm-hmm. I'm just high school and. He's like, oh, I'm about to go to college. And he's thinking about serious relationships and I'm like, bro, I'm 14. Right? Like I just got here. You're leaving. Yeah. The experience you just had, I am trying to gotta get through all of that, right? Yeah. Hump with slash okay. My silver fox. Not really silver fox, but older gentleman. Hump, wed slash The classic George Clooney. Okay. Denzel Washington and Jeff Goldblum. This is easy. I am going to hump Denzel. Okay. Why are we humping Denzel? Because I think that he's the best looking of the three. Okay. But I love Jeff. I'm going to marry Jeff. Okay. Love him. He's on Drag Race a oddly enough. He's a perfect guest host. I, I love him. I love, I love him. And then who was the other one? George Clooney. Is he a cheater? I'm pretty sure he is a cheater. Is he a cheater? I think so. Mm-hmm. I don't think so. Who was he married to? Amal Clooney. They've been together for a long time. It's, he wasn't a cheater, but he, he took a long time to even settle down. He was like the, the playboy. Oh, well I didn't, never really cared for him, so. He can, he can, he can still slash him sorry, slash him cheat or not. He's just, I never, he, him and Brad Pitt, they just don't ever down for me. Yeah. The energy for me is off with Clooney. I am inclined to 100% agree. Yay. Oh my gosh. Denzel, we're gonna hump, because he was, he had swag about him and it was weird because my mom was like a huge, oh my god, Denzel. And it was like, no, I don't wanna find the same guy attractive that my mom finds it. Like, it was just weird. So I never gave her props for that. Sorry, mama. I love you, but I see it now. Jeff, I love him. He's so funny. I love him. Mm-hmm. I love him so much. And he's like in his seventies and still looks that fucking day. Is he? Yes. That. Talk about unproblematic. Yes. Yep. And then slashing George, only because like I said, the, the energy with him Yeah. Is just, it's off. he was really hot in the ER days. But it's just, I'm Okay. Something about him. Yeah. Him and Brad for some reason, they just, yeah. And I think they're like besties too. Oh, are they? That makes sense. Makes sense. Oh, Brad is not aging well because problematic. Absolutely. I mm-hmm. I knew that from back when he, left Jen for Angelina. Oh yeah. Because they like hooked up. I mean, I personally don't give a shit what your, uh, profession is. My husband is not acting like he Mrs. And Mr. Smith. Absolutely not. That is a role that you were turning down, sir? Or no, because they were just like, yeah. Like all over each other. And I'm like, oh, it's, it very quickly got out that they were banging and, you know. Mm-hmm. Poor Jens left at home and Yeah. And then they, like, they immediately got married and like immediately had a kid or something like that. And I noticed something like Jen, we wanted Yeah. Very quick, very toxic. Yeah. Thankfully Jen like kept quiet and a lot of, um, you know, details. She's, she's so classy. Yeah. So classy about it. I know. A lot of the details we don't know. We'll never know. Yeah. And she's still even like cordial with him. Yes. Mm-hmm. Like she, did she stay throughout the, he made a fool outta you to the whole world tabloids? Yes. Everybody was talking about the shit. 'cause have tabloid. Yeah. And she's still classy enough to keep it cordial with him. She did. Even when you see pictures, even not too long ago, I seen a picture of them passing by in awards or something like that. Yeah. And she still just. Sweet and good for her. I can, yes. I love it. I, I want to embody the Jennifer Aniston, you know, those memes as like no revenge because you're gonna get what comes to you anyway. Mm-hmm. I don't need to do anything. Right. That's how Jen is. I don't need to do something back to you because you're going to get what you deserve. I still do. I want to, but I don't. 'cause I'm like, whatever. I won't. Only because I, uh, fear even like more severe retaliation. So I'm like, you gotta learn where to draw the line. Draw the lines. Yeah. How much are you willing to expose because they're gonna come right back. Yeah, that's true. Especially with someone that you were in a relationship with too, because they know your secrets. Yeah. Oh yeah. They know shit about you that other people don't know. Mm-hmm. So yeah, they have the ammunition to really, yeah. So I keep my mouth shut. Exactly. Go ahead, boo. Well, my Silver Foxes, we, love us up a band here. Yes. So we're gonna go all the way back to new kids on the block. Oh God. Yes. I'm ready. I'm ready. And we're gonna go with my top three favorite. you better pick the three I am thinking of. Let's go. I'm gonna go with Donny Wahlberg, Joey McIntyre and Jordan. Yes, yes, yes. The three. Yes. Okay. I'm so excited for this. Holy shit. This is hard. I know. Okay. I only know who I would. Okay. I'm going to hump Jordan Knight. Okay. I love that man. And that song that give it, he did give, yes. It just came on yesterday. That's why made me think of it. Oh, oh, yes. And that's not. There is. It's a really good song. It's a good song. We can't do business, and we had no damn business singing that song. Mm-hmm. It is a really good song though. Give it to me, Jordan. Thank you. Um, and a carnival, sir, I am going to, we Donnie. Mm-hmm. I love, love, love, love, love. Donny Walberg. I saw new kids with Backstreet Boys together in 2012. Donny looked amazing. His body was on point, like it was like, well, dang. He wasn't the one back then. No. But he is the one now. Yeah. Donny, I'm gonna marry him because him and his wife in real life are so fucking cute together. Like he loves that woman down. Isn't he on a, one of those csis, or No, he's on Blue Bloods, which is like a CS I kind thing, right? Yeah, it is like a cop show. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But he loves his wife. I just, I see. He life would be with him would be so much fun. I love Joey McIntyre. Okay. That's my boob. But of the three, but of the three, I got a slash Joey. I love you. I have his, solo CD too, like growing up. I loved him. Yeah. Joey got so much my love growing up. Yes, absolutely. I never thought I would get so excited over these kids on the block humped slash but that was amazing. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. I'm gonna kind of agree. I would definitely hump Donnie. Mm-hmm. Without a doubt. I'm gonna marry Jordan because that song and just, I'm not even gonna giggle him to see what he looks like nowadays because you ain't breaking my heart. But he, I think he's still high as he got older, you know, even in the, give it to you music video. He's older. He looks good. Yes. So that's what I think of. Oh my God. Look at my face. and unfortunately I'm gonna slash Joey. Yeah. And that's just because he got so much of my love growing up because we were younger for them. Yeah. And he was the baby. He, so he was, yep, yep. Yeah. But Jordan, because Jordan has those features too. The dark, dark hair. Dark eyes can't get away. So it was just like, who growing up, it was definitely Jordan and Joey. And then as an adult, Donny came in. I was like, yeah, Donny looking good. Yeah, Donny looking real good. He definitely was the better, the best looking of the walbergs back then. Right. But I definitely think he probably, 'cause he's the least problematic. Problematic. He is the least problem. You know what he's, he is Mark's Lowkey. Turd Alec Mark is starting to have a high-key be turd I, right? I do. I love Alec Bowen because he BioD him. And that's literally my favorite movie in the whole entire world. Really? Yes. And when he. Oh my God. When he accidentally shot that woman, like my heart breaks so bad. Did we not learn anything from Brandon Lee having to die? Like I don't, everything's so we do not cycles need re Right. We do not need re real bullets or anything like that. Yeah. So when he had to go on trial, I was like, people were so mean to him. Like he deserves to go to jail. You are outta your mind. I don't even know anything about a set. Yeah. To know that like obviously it's not his fault, he didn't know. Mm-hmm. So, but he ain't looking the best gonna, so he might be a little problematic too. Yeah. Do the Baldwin Brothers. Oh my gosh. Slash because uh, Hailey's dad, Steven. Oh that's right. Him too crazy. I don't think I know anything about him. And then they had another brother Billy, who's hottest shit back in the nineties. Yes. Mm-hmm. But yeah, they all got some, yeah. Wow. I didn't know there was that many of 'em. Mm-hmm. I don't know anything about Hailey. His dad. What? Who was he? Was he an actor? He was an actor too. Yeah, Steven. Okay. Yeah. He looks just like a, it's Alec, right? Yeah, it's Alec. Well, he's not the one, is he the one who buy Dad? Yeah. Oh shit. I was wrong. Well, I didn't even know that. Oh wow. Yeah, he's the one. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Alec, I still love you, but they all look so much alike. They do. They do. Yeah. Billy, which he looks crazy now, but he was hot back in the day. Oh, I didn't know he was one of them. I knew he was a Baldwin, but I didn't know he was one of them. 'cause you know he, he looks a little different. Yeah. Yeah. Like and fair game. Oh my God. He was so hot and back draft. Woo. He was so, oh, he was Gossip girl too. That's right. Yeah. So the Baldwin brothers, we might have to do a hump with last day. Now I know. Right now I know exactly. I didn't Steve. It makes sense that Steven is crazy 'cause his craziness went Biden might loved that freaking movie. Paul, we gotta do the brothers 'cause we got the, the Jonas brothers, the Hanson brothers, the Baldwin brothers, the Lawrence brothers. Like there's so many threes that we can do. I dated an older guy when I was in college, but like, I was 21 and he was 28, so it wasn't a big difference, but I was still in college. Right, right, right. I'm young and he supposed to 30 and he was like, I'm ready to buy a house. Right. And settle down and get married. And I remember on my 20, this is not the story by the way. Mm-hmm. But I remember on my 22nd birthday, he was like, if you go out, we're done. Excuse me, I'm 22. Like, when's your birthday? And it's my birthday. And it was a Wednesday. It wasn't like a, a Friday, Saturday. It was a Wednesday. Wednesday was like the day that we went out, so my birthday falling on a Wednesday was like, hell yeah, I'm gonna go out. Right? And he was like, if you go out, we're done. I was like, well, I guess we're done. So eventually I took him back months later. But then we had another Stupid. Like, if you do this, we're done. And I was like, I'm not playing this game with you anymore. I'm 2022. Why are you still playing these games? Right. 13 months after we broke up, he was married 13 months. Oh. The guy from the first story, he got remarried again, like within like a year after our, I think I was like his only little thing. And then he got married. Yeah. I was like, yeah, why do you get married again? Exactly. It was, and then they get divorced and they get married again. Yeah. And he got divorced too. And that was like my introduction into older men. 'cause I didn't really date older. Right. And I was like, oh, in my mind I'm thinking older men automatically want something. Oh, like commitment. Gotcha, gotcha. And I'm not, well I wasn't in my early twenties not wanting to be tied down. Right. Like no., so when I was 29, I was on Tinder. And I met a guy who was 38, 39. Okay. So that was my first time dating someone again who there was an age gap, but like, I was 29 at that time, so I thought could an older, you know, I'm handling it a little bit better. He had a kid, he was divorced and I never met his kid, thankfully, but it was like that kind of situation where if his baby mama was like, we can work on this, he would run back. Oh yeah. Like I felt that I knew he would go back. Yeah. And, he was a cool guy. we had fun. We would go to the bars, go out to eat. he took me to this really nice restaurant on my 29th birthday. he was like, get dressed up. Mm-hmm. I got reservations. Mm-hmm. Like we had a, like a, an adult night. Mm-hmm. It was nice. so my birthday's in April, his birthday is in June. So in June he had a party at his house. Mm-hmm. And had a bunch of his friends and I got to meet his friends and I felt so outta place. 'cause I'm like 29 and his friends are 40, 50 because he was, he was a firefighter. So a lot of his coworkers are there, like they're much older. And it just, I was like, I'm too young for this. Like, this is weird, but I was sick, so didn't really get to enjoy it, but I felt like I was a little standoffish because I didn't feel well, you know? Yeah. I didn't really get to mingle with his friends like I, I would have if I wasn't sick. Right. So the following week he had planned a camping trip with his friends from that party, like, oh yeah, we should go camping. And they actually like committed and did it. Wow. A week later he made other check. Right. And I was shocked. That whole week goes by and I don't hear from him because he's camping out in the woods. Mm-hmm. And I didn't realize at the time that they were going on that trip that week. I was just like, Hmm, I haven't heard from him. That's weird. Oh, you didn't know? No. Oh, I heard of, I heard them. Right. You didn't discussing it, but I didn't know they really were doing it, so I was like, um, I haven't heard from him. Okay. He comes back from the trip and he's like, oh, I, I was camping. And I was like, oh. And like I put the two together and I was like, oh, okay. That's why I hadn't heard from him. And I was like, I texted him and I was just like, oh, I didn't know that was this week. This motherfucker came back with. I didn't feel like I needed to tell you when it was. We're not in a relationship. I didn't say anything. I was just like, I didn't know that that was this week. Like he got so defensive. Oh, he took it as a, oh, I didn't know it was that week kind of thing. Instead of like checking Yes. To see he can just, he got so defensive and I was just like, okay, what were you doing over? Yeah. And then a couple hours later, he hits me with the, Hey, I don't think I'm emotionally ready for a relationship. I'm sitting here. Like, what? Like I've never said, you need to be my man. Right. I never said, what are we? Right. I never said anything. And it was just like he got all of this. He thought all of this in his head instead of like talking to you about it instead of talking to me. Mm-hmm. Because I didn't know he was going camping for a week. Because you literally didn't know and you were just like, oh, I didn't know exactly. And I was just like, all right bro. Like you go be. An emotionally unavailable 40-year-old. Okay. Because I ain't got time for this. A conversation will get you real far, especially at 40. But yeah, like, I just don't, I, I still don't understand how grown men can't just, I just ended something great. I let him know. Mm-hmm. Like, this just isn't for me. And I get it with the, like, he still let me know. He didn't ghost me, but it was like, bro, I never asked you for anything. I never asked you for a relationship. You selfs sabotaged it. I never asked you why you didn't hit me up for a week. You didn't even care. You're just like, oh, like you cool. You internalized that at as she's upset, and I don't know why, because we're not together. I knew we weren't together and I was fine with that. Right. Men? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Very much Men. I just, I have yet to find. Obviously a man, but an older man that like either wants commitment because he, it's like when they're that old and they're still single, it's like, don't say that. 'cause I don't feel the way with myself men. True. They either didn't commit at all in their twenties and thirties and they're still trying to find themselves at 40. Right. Or they were married and they just don't wanna do that again. So it's hard to find a 40-year-old man. Right. Who still wants commitment because in my experience, it's, my experience don't come from me. Right, right. Because I don't normally date older, to be honest. So I don't, and I'm trying to date older. Older. I never know. I would not, I can't find it. I just, I don't, I date younger. I mean, that doesn't work on either, but you know. I've done my age, older, young. I just can't find the older man that either still believes in relationships and believes in love and believes in that, or who just wasn't a playboy his entire life and now wants to settle downs like Yeah, bro, grow up, but like his, the way he wants it. Exactly how he wants it. Yeah. Like still in like uh, still thinks he's got that Playboy now. Yeah. Still in the Playboy. Yeah. But it's like, all right, well I'm old now. Maybe I should settle down. Right? No, I want you to want to settle down. Right. First of all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not because you think it's what you should be doing, but like what have you done to work on yourself? Yeah. To be, you can't be a frat bro. Right. At 45. Exactly. Exactly. Because I've been spending with that fra row man, frat bro mentality. Yeah. And think I've been spending the last couple years. Because trying to be the best version of myself. Right. And the women who either were in a marriage and did a workout or stayed single, worked on themselves, the last fucking thing they wanna do is go through that shit all over again. Mm-hmm. So like, we understand you don't want to, but like they, most women don't. Most certainly don't want to neither. Yeah. Like, not at all. Yeah. My favorite is when they'll like, they'll get in, they'll be like their late thirties and they'll find someone, um, so specific, but like, y'all understand, and then they both have like older kids and then they'll have a child together and then three years later it doesn't work. I'm like, so now you're like pushing 40 with a toddler. No thing that's gonna be me, but it's gonna work. No, that's what I'm saying. But a newborn. She'll find someone though. Him, he's cursed at that point and no one trying to deal with that again. Yeah. I deleted my Facebook dating again, I'm so over it. I'm just so over, I had to delete the, the profile. I'm just so fucking tired. I, update and now two for two with. Like, I find someone that I woo about on the app and then we'll chat, and then it just scoots. It just fizzles. I'm like, oh, you're so stupid. And the last one pissed me off. Just 'cause the way it happened. Ladies do not say boo. Tomato, tomato, tomato to dudes. They don't like it. Um, tomato, that was the last tomato, tomato, tomato. Both of them tomato. But I mean, in the situation that I was in, they deserved it. They did, they did deserve it. And the one even admitted that. He was like, oh, I'm so sorry for this and that and that. And I was like, boo tomato, toed tomato. And then like, never heard from him again. And I ain't chasing your ass. No bye. No. Why? Because I can get right back on there and find someone just as good looking to woo over again for a week. And it all blow up in my face, so. Right. Damn right. And I'm, I'm just, I'm just done with that cycle right now. I need, yeah, no, I don't, for my mental health, I know this is a dating podcast and we need to actually date stories. I'm done. I'm done right now. Oh, I got more than enough stories. You ain't gotta worry about that, but I'm done right now. I cannot, yeah. I physically cannot go on another date. I didn't get to go on a date, so I want to, but then like after that happened and I was like, you know, you gotta, no matter how little someone does your dirty, you're just like, I'm dramatic. Oh yeah, I'm never dating again. That's, that's am I get it's, but, and then I got sick and then I'm like, I'm actually kind of glad I wasn't talking to him. 'cause when I have anything going on, any kinda stress, any kind of car problem, any kinda sick, any, anytime my kid's sick. I never used to be this person. So I used to judge people, but I don't like, I answer you, you know what I mean? But other than that, I don't answer anyone. Yeah. I my kids and you like literally no one else. I don't answer. I don't even look at my phone. I kind of wish I had an iPhone so I could put on do not disturb so people could see, I don't wanna be bothered, dude, my phone was on Do Not disturb and that motherfucker kept texting me and it kept going through and I'm like, yeah, I know there's some way to like get, I was so mad. I'm like. Leave me alone. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Like when I, anything like that, like I don't want to be bothered. And I was like, I don't want, and I would feel bad just not answering someone, not like you feel like you need to answer someone, but because I would've been like on a Tuesday, Hey, I'm sick and you wouldn't have heard me too much Sunday. And you're probably like, what? Yeah, but realistically I was dead until Sunday. Yep. Right here I just uhuh I'm mad at kale. Can you imagine if there was a person? Yeah, I get that. Exactly. I get that. That definitely would've 'cause she picked it up on her date the second time, so Yeah, no, I would def And then the fact that he didn't get it, I would be like, I never gonna speak to you again. Just 'cause you didn't get it. 'cause that's not fair. Yeah, I know. It's hard to talk about. Yeah. Any who? Let's Pretty My teeth. You want Natty or Nice? Um, I take Nice. Ooh. Yeah. Nice. Today. Yeah. We try to change the naughty and nice date. Give me something short. It's like reading in class, reading these things. I swear I think the nice ones are shorter okay. I got the nice one. And it says, oh, go to the beach for the day, week, or weekend. Which could end up in a breakup like mine did. Shop on the boardwalk. We did that. Um, lay, lay on the beach. Buy ice cream. Build sandcastles. Dig for hermit crabs. Play beach ball. And go for a romantic walk along the water. Oh, we didn't do that. Maybe that's where we went wrong. Don't forget to go on rides at the fair and take silly pictures in the photo booth. That's super cute. That is so cute. I do like that. I do like that is a good idea. Yeah, I, when I was a kid. I was like 15, but I went to Myrtle Beach with my best friend and my mom, and we met some guys on the beach. And I remember, we hung out with them like the whole time we were there. But the one that I was with took us out, went to the water and like, walked and kissed me. And I thought it was like the cutest little thing, like as a 15-year-old, I was like, this is my romcom. I forgot the craziest part about, oh my God. The, the first guy in the story, our first date, he took me to a beach. But there were so many mosquitoes. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. We were like in this blanket together trying to stay away from the mosquitoes. I can't believe I forgot. That was probably like the most important thing of it. Yeah, we like snuck onto it too. 'cause you weren't allowed there after dark. Yeah, so weird after dog. Oh, we had to sneak on there 'cause you weren't allowed on there after dark. Can you imagine if we got caught as old man with a 19-year-old? At least you were legal. Yeah. Right. Yeah. All right. Billy ever forgot that That's so at at least it we're still in the same episode. We had to go back to work and we were scared. I think he ended up calling off because we were covered in mosquito. Both of you. Exactly. I mean like on our face had mosquito bites. Like they, I don't know why we even stayed there as long as we did. Probably should have went back to the car or something. Like I remember like having to count them and there were so many of 'em on 'em on my face. And I'm pretty sure he had a call out because we had so many mosquito bites. Oh my God. So wear your mosquito repellent if you're gonna go on the beach. Apparently. Especially after dark, right? Spa day. Oh, perhaps it's all the half nakedness, but a couple spa treatment is a fun date idea that will put you in a relaxed and sensual state of mind. Book a couple's massage, a hot stone massage, facials and exfoliation, or a mud bath for two. All of that relaxation will be sure to get the sparks flying when it's time to get out of there. I would love to do a mud bath. I, I would love that. I had a mud bath in Mexico. Mm-hmm. And because of the, like, texture and it feels so soft. Mm-hmm. It, it really does. You Oh, I thought you were, say it was bad. I was like, oh no. It gets you excited. It gets you hype. I can understand that. That sounds amazing. One little short story. I've never haven't dated a older man since I was 31, 32. He was. 52, about 20 year age guy. Yes. Is 22. So what is, I was 31 and I think he might've been 53. He was in his fifties, whatever the math was. He was older than my parents at this point. Oh wow. Because I was, my parents, I young, but um, he was still a little bit older than though I met him at a carnival. Right. We were sitting there. My, I was with my family, with my mom and my sister and the kids, my child was on the ride and I guess his child was also on the ride as well. Same age. So he probably Oh, he was old or that young? A kid. Oh, well. but he was super, he was super hot and I looked to see if he had any rings. 'cause I was like, oh, like I'm, I'm gonna hit on him. 'cause even if he says no, whatever, like. I need to take lessons from you. How are you hitting on people? Well, he had struck, he had struck up some kind of conversation with us. So you just flirt back? Yeah. And kind of just, yeah. Okay. Absolutely. And you could tell someone, I'm very much like, even the, people that can't like, read energy, like my body language can tell you exactly how I feel towards you. So I, I don't get her on watch, but I may it known if I want to be, or I'll just do it if I want to, because what's the worst I'm gonna say now? Yeah. That's not, I'm trying to be more, I gotta see you again. That's fine. Yeah. I'm trying to be a little more mm-hmm. Open. 'cause I feel like I have resting bitch face by the time, so if I see someone I'm trying to like, Hey, that's another thing, because I, I know I do too. So for anyone to say anything to me, even if like someone like compliments me for like the smallest thing, I get so happy and so nice about it because I know that it takes a lot to say anything to me. Yeah. Because I look mean and I'm tall, so I know that they were probably like intimidating. Yeah. Right, right. So. Okay. we were chatting and I was gonna, I didn't see any rings, so I was gonna hit him. And then I just, I don't know, I got caught up in my head and I was like, no. We walked away. And I was like, Amanda, go, go find out if he's single. 'cause I had talked myself in the head. There's no way that he was single. Mm-hmm. He was definitely older, but didn't have a ring. But I was like, no, he's probably just not single, which would've been easier to be rejected. I don't know why. I just didn't do it. So, I mean, my sister do it. And I love that you made your sister. I did. I made her, I made her go back and ask if he was, I'm, I'm gonna make you do a lot of shit this summer. Girl talk to Oh, absolutely. I'm, I don't, here. I'll do it for that one. Um, give him my number. I think he texted me before the end of the night, so I was like, oh yes, absolutely. Okay. Um, we didn't go, I think we only went on like, maybe like three dates. He took, took me to a real nice fancy, like get, they didn't even have water. I had to drink sparkly water. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Like the older man will take you out. He did. He told me. He, he told me exactly along the lines what to wear. Mm-hmm. Uh, and we did, he talked me to the casino one I, one of our dates we went to, Cheesecake Factory that's there. I love Cheesecake Factory. I, I love Cheesecake Factory. But the whole purpose was to go to the casino. Mm-hmm. And he gave me $20 and I turned it to $225. Nice. Yes. I was so happy. He was like, did he let you keep all of it? He did. He did. Okay, good. And I was like, oh, that's a universe. Like, you know, everything's a sign. Yes. So he, he was super cool. Like, he actually was really cool and I would've continued to talk to him until at some point I was asked my sister earlier trying to piece it together. 'cause some of it's kind of hazy. But my sister came here to watch my kids. I'm pretty sure my sister was outside and him and her started chatting and my sister's towards me with them. And there was something wrong with my sister's car. So I wasn't there for the conversation, but I know the conversation went something along the lines of he was gonna help in some kind of way. Okay. So my sister, and that was be even before the first date. So he had been through three dates at this point. Okay. So at most it's been three weeks, uh, or at least it's been at least three weeks. My sister was like, Hey, can you reach out to him and find out when to get help? Mm-hmm. Again, I don't know how the conversation went, but she said when, so I'm assuming whenever he told her, she did say he offered to help. Okay. Because I know my sister's like I am and like we're very much like a, we don't like gas out. Yeah. Right, right. And this is exactly why. Like, I'd rather just do it, get it done myself, because I hate relying on people. When I said something to him about asking when he could help her, he said something along the lines of I was all DI was being demanding. Like his ex-wife. I remember exactly where I was when this happened. I was like, looking for the cameras. I was like, I'm being phone, right? What? When he said that, I was like, I don't know exactly what the conversation was between you and my sister, but I do know that you offer to help. So why did you offer to help if you were then gonna turn around and make it a big deal when you actually had to step up and, and help do it. Get the help. Yeah. And then specify something about your ex-wife. I ain't never heard a thing about your ex-wife until now. I don't know where in his mind he thought this was going other than the end. Because I'm pretty sure that's the first time he ever black, he showed up my house and looking flowers outside my door. No, no. Nope, nope, nope, nope. No. You offered two help. And then when it came time, not only did you make an excuse, you made it as if someone was demanding something from you offered to help and then to compare you to his ex. Right. I'm like, what in the, I sleep exactly where road I was driving down is where I was driving. I was like, this is, this man's about to find out. He fucking, he ran over around with some. Yeah, absolutely. He literally, he came to my house he left, flowers. Actually, I think he knocked, this is what I had to teach my child was small. He knocked on the door, my child answered the door. I'm in here taking a shower. My child comes and brings me flowers. I'm like, oh. I'm like, what? What did that, where did this even come from? So I'm like trying to figure out where it would come from. So I had to unblock him to be like. Were you just at my house? And he again, was just like, I guess it was his peace offering. And I was like, no. No, because you went way over the edge. Yeah. And now I can't, I would never come to you and ask you for help. Right. And that's like, right. What, what of a man if I, if he is not gonna be there for me when I need 'em. So the dog all trust is God at that point. And then I teach my child, don't ever answer the door again. Oh my God. Yeah. Then the audacity at 53 years old. Yeah. You're demanding. Like my ex-wife. Because you offer Yeah. A conversation that I wasn't even being a part of. I'm just, you know, being the middleman kind of thing. That's Yeah. Yeah. And Yeah. In your fifties. In your fifties. Absolutely. I was like, that just went from like zero to a hundred. Yeah. Kinda like that. Yeah. Just like, just like your story, they, it's like. I don't know where he thought it was gonna go. Exactly. Like did he ever think that I would ever speak? I guess maybe there's some woman out there that you could speak to like that, but he's lucky that I even kind of explained myself and didn't just block him. Yeah. The only reason I kind of explained myself, 'cause I was so mad that I was like, I hate, I hate asking for help. Like, I hate it. And this is exactly why. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of people, a lot of people do. Why, why do you do that? Mm-hmm. If you don't wanna help say no. Right. I have no problem saying no. Right. Or, or probably not. I might be able to help you, but probably not. Like, even if you wanna be nice about it, like you, you will never catch me tell someone Yes. If I'm not gonna do it. If I'm not gonna do it. And it's the, it's the, I think the text gets in the way with older people because they like read it in some kind of Yeah. And it's like you're, you're, you're reading into it right. When it's not that serious. Yeah. You definitely, definitely read into it, but even in that case, you offer. Yeah. And like it, yeah. And if there's a time when I don't feel like the tone coming through the text is appropriate, I'll ask, I'm ask, I'm gonna call you or something like, Hey, uh, what's going on? Right? What do you mean? Right. Did you mean in this way or that way before I flip out? I'm not exactly, I'm not just gonna flip out and that I need context. Yes. Because they automatically assume he compared you to his ex and mine, thought that I was being this, demanding girl. Like, why didn't you text me? Or why didn't you tell me you were going? Like, I didn't say shit. I didn't make any. No, I just, I don't get it. I don't get it. I guess it was some kind of freaking lesson I had to learn because you know, I am, it's always the last car troubles are such a thing to me, so. When he acted like that. Yeah. Unless his answer was, I'll be there tomorrow. I was ready to fight. Definitely because, oh my God. Like just don't, I hate when people, I hate when people do things just to hold it over someone else's head. Yeah. Or like all fertile and then it's just weird. I guess people have problems saying that quick this way to get you blocked. Exactly. That block. This is, yes, it is, girl. Yes it is. Yeah. Don't make me feel like I'm a burden to you, because then I'll just never deal with you ever again. Yeah, exactly. You make me feel like that. All right. Bet I said we don't have to talk ever again. No, absolutely not at all. I don't need you. Good luck. I mean, I'm sure he found someone because you're very good looking. This is, this is literally why I say when I'm dating, I am dating because I want to. Yeah. Not because I need to. So if I make a connection, it's because I want to make a connection with you. Mm-hmm. I don't need to make a connection with you. You, I don't need to be in a relationship. I don't need you, but I want to be here. Right. And in that exact moment, I did need help. And you were like, nah. Yeah. Muck you ex-wife. Yeah. Ew, Ew. That's fine. Now I really can't feel like I can somebody else. Exactly. And if you can't come to them, like you said. Mm-hmm. What's the point of this? Mm-hmm. Yep. Okay. Heathens. Now it's time to say goodbye to all or something. Something something. MIC. Is that the one? Yeah. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe Dating In Reverse on all social medias. And if you're action nasty and still don't get enough, stick around for just the tip