The Valentine

  Roses are red, violets are blue, this Valentine’s episode is we made just for you! 🌹💕 Join us as we dive into our V-Day memories, react to your cute submission stories, and play a scandalous round of Hump, Wed, Slash featuring our childhood and current celeb crushes. Oh, and did we mention some Valentine’s Day trivia to keep things spicy? 💘 Tune in for love, laughs, and just the right amount of chaos! #DatingInReverse #ValentinesDayVibes

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Heather 0:00

I love balloons. I love balloons too. I love balloons.

kay 0:02

I would be happy with, I would actually cry. I wouldn't cry for anything.

Heather 0:06

You'd be all blue on the fucking stick and I'm gonna cry. I would cry,

kay 0:12

Welcome in, heathens. This is Dating in Reverse, where we acknowledge the weird and wild cesspool dating culture has become, but we're still diving in headfirst. I'm Kay Heather. And I'm Heather Nicole. We're always sharing outrageous date stories, playing a few classic games, so grab your tipple, moisturize your lips, take a hit, and come join us. If you can't tell, it's Valentine's Day! We are so grateful that you decided to join us for Valentine's Day. It's not always the greatest holiday for some people, which is fine, but, you know, Valentine's Day! Oh my god! I

Heather 1:28

swear to god we're the same fucking person. It's so weird.

kay 1:31

Jesus. You can spend it with us. It's okay.

Heather 1:34

It's okay. It's okay.

kay 1:36

We're going to just share some Valentine's Day stories, talk a little bit about Valentine's Day, play a lot of games. Yeah. And we're going to announce our winner of our flower contest. Oh, yay! Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah, so we're glad you decided to join us. Growing up, my mom would buy like Wednesday bears, and you would have like the year on the paw. So like, every year, I got a valentine's present. My mother

Heather 2:05

got us valentine's stuff until I was like 20. Yeah! When I had a child is when she started getting my child stuff instead of me. I was like, wait a minute, woman. Wait, I'm

kay 2:13

not your valentine? I still

Heather 2:14

want my valentine's day present, okay? It's me or him, me. Yes! I'll get him one. I want my valentine's day. So I just, I

kay 2:20

just love that a lot of people start their valentine's journeys with their parents. Yeah. And, you know. I'm sure there are people who haven't gotten valentines from their parents, but I think it's a cute tradition. And I don't have kids, but when I do have kids, I'm going to start that. Your dog's

Heather 2:38

growin again for my children and all my zeal. Everyone gets some kind of little present.

kay 2:42

It's a cute little way to just show your appreciation and your love. I just love the fact that Valentine's Day, doesn't have to be Romantic love. Right. It's just love.

Heather 2:55

Especially now with the Galentine's Day thing. Like, they pushed that and I was like, Oh, that's really cute. I didn't know that that was a thing.

kay 3:01

I was like, Oh,

Heather 3:01

that's super cute. Yeah. Personally, I just make Valentine's Day by myself. Self love. Self love is a thing. And I'm going to get myself a gift. I haven't quite picked out what I'm going to get yet. We'll see. You know

kay 3:12

what? I'm going to do that this year, too. I'm going to love myself this year.

Heather 3:16

And it's like right before my birthday.

kay 3:18

Yeah. So

Heather 3:18

it's like a pre birthday present. Yes. But I treat myself. Because I'm going to treat myself.

kay 3:24

I'm going to buy myself something. Buy myself dinner. Absolutely. Yeah. You

Heather 3:28

best believe.

kay 3:29

Absolutely. So, growing up Shout out to Dustin Martinez. He used to make sure that his girlies had a candy gram. That's so cute. Every year. It was so cute. You would see them come deliver it. And if you didn't get one, it'd be like

Heather 3:46

Absolutely. Me and my girlfriends, definitely. And I'm still friends with some of the girlfriends that we would get. Yeah,

kay 3:51

and we had cute ones growing up. We had like, sometimes you'd get a flower, sometimes you'd get like You know, candy, no school made Valentine's Day cute. But if you didn't have a Valentine's, it also like

Heather 4:05

absolutely

kay 4:06

made you feel like, why am I not worthy of a candy? Gram of a dollar candy gram Oh, oh

Heather 4:14

yeah. I just. Now when go to bed tonight. And we like just middle school, Heather Oh my God. I was so, although, no, me and my girlfriends would definitely get 'em for each other. Yeah. So I guess we were doing G GL valentine's before it was a thing. Yeah, absolutely.

kay 4:27

Yeah, because like I said, Valentine's Day does not have to be romantic. It's just love of a friend. Mm-hmm Of a parent, of a child, whatever. Expressing and appreciating the love in your life, and that's why I love Valentine's Day. But, okay, so I have a mini story for school age.

Heather 4:47

Oh gosh, I wish I could remember back that long.

kay 4:51

Well this is the only time that I felt special. I'll never forget it. it was freshman year of high school. 8th grade, I started dating this guy, and, dating, and, all through summer, we hung out, had this thing, and, it was cute, but like, we were 8th grade, 9th grade, it was just, yeah, it's like, whatever. He no longer went to our high school. So I remember seeing his best friend who did go to our high school with all these like, huge balloons. Like, a freaking, no, big. Balloons used to always make

Heather 5:31

me feel so special.

kay 5:32

A big bouquet of just huge balloons, like the large balloons. And I was like, that's weird. I didn't think he was dating anybody. And he walked up. And handed them to me and he said this is from so and so and I was like wait, what? What do you mean? In middle school? Freshman year of high school, ninth grade. Putting that

Heather 5:53

much effort? Yes. Grown men don't do that shit. Exactly. That's so cute. And he didn't even

kay 5:58

go to my school so he had

Heather 5:59

to.

kay 6:00

Coordinate this with his best friend to bring me these giant balloons and a teddy bear. I still have that teddy bear. It's just weird. That's so cute. But it was kind of, you know, I'm 14, walking around with these giant balloons and like people are just looking at me like. So it was like awkward. Oh, I loved it. I loved

Heather 6:19

it. Oh, I hated that. One of my friends would always make sure that I had balloons on my birthday because it was like a thing. Like that was the thing.

kay 6:24

Yeah. You had balloons. So

Heather 6:26

we all made sure of some sort of way that someone always had balloons.

kay 6:30

Right.

Heather 6:31

Absolutely. Right.

kay 6:32

But like on Valentine's Day. It was like. Yeah. Like, They're like, oh, your boyfriend loves you. And I was just like, we're not even together right now. That's cute though. It was so good. It was so cute. it was a giant balloon. the balloon was bigger than me. I was not prepared for that because I didn't, it was like a surprise. I had no idea. I was like, his friend doesn't date anybody. That's weird. But, it was for me. So, that was cute. I will always remember that. Speaking of Galentines,

Heather 7:05

I love that. I know. It's like a newer thing and now I feel like it's a new, it's really popular, mainstream. It's really mainstream now. Like you said,

kay 7:13

we've been doing it for so long that we didn't realize it was a thing. Yeah, and now, it's an actual thing. This episode will premiere on Galentine's Day. Like, it's the day before. I already

Heather 7:26

knew that, that's so cute. It's the day

kay 7:27

before Valentine's that you're supposed to have your Galentine. That's cute. Yeah, in the years that I've been single, I've been, obviously, celebrating Galentine's a little bit more. And my best friend, shout out to Jackie, she would buy me my favorite thing of all time, which is chocolate covered strawberries. And she would buy them for me, and some flowers, and we would just have our little girls night.

Heather 7:55

I have a friend, Jen, we did Galentines. We actually met in a mom blog? Facebook page? That was so cute! She's about three and a half hours away. I love her. She has crazy stories. I need her. I'm gonna drag one out of her. And if she said she would, I need to get a story out of her because she's hot and she has some crazy stories. but we did presents for each other and we said that that's the first time that I was like truly introduced to Galentine's Day and we had sent presents to each other and she bought me like really nice stuff. I was like,

kay 8:28

okay girl. Yeah. And like It doesn't even have to be like, really nice stuff, it's just the thought, you know, like. No, when I say really nice stuff, I

Heather 8:36

just mean like, I mean, I don't even know about price wise, it's just like the thought, the things that went into it, I was like, oh, okay, I love all of this stuff. Exactly. These are really good things. Cause,

kay 8:46

who knows you better than your girls? Your girlfriends, right. Yeah. Absolutely. I, Idea of Galentines, one year, this was right before, COVID, like right before the world shut down. Right

Heather 8:58

before everything changed.

kay 8:59

Yeah, because that was February of 2020, before everything. Oh yeah. We went out to dinner, we had a little sushi date, it was so cute. It was me and two other girlfriends. And then we went and got tarot cards read. Oh! For our love lives to see. That's cute. So it was like a cute little way to incorporate Valentine's Day. I remember asking the The reader about my crush at the time and she told me all this positive shit And I was like, I don't know if I believe this because there's no way.

Heather 9:32

But the delusion in me. Right, exactly, I was like

kay 9:35

I will pay you because I hope this comes true.

Heather 9:38

This is gonna be the one. Yeah. This is it.

kay 9:41

It wasn't. It wasn't at all. I'm heartbroken over it. It is what it is. But it was a cute way to spend Valentine's Day, you know? Because we, it wasn't actually Valentine's Day. It was actually Valentine's Day and we're like, let's go get food, let's get tarot readings, about our love lives, or whatever. I did my love life, I don't know. It was funny. And, side note, the other tarot reader, like the owner of the shop, she was on the phone with someone and she was like, the world's about to shut down. We were sitting there like, what does she know? No, it's crazy.

Heather 10:18

You say that because I would say, oh, then little did you know that that's the last little thing. That particular that Valentine's Day, right before the world shut down, I took my kids down to the beach and we had so much fun just doing things. There was a cheer competition in town so everything was open up. We did all these fun things and then the world

kay 10:36

just stopped.

Heather 10:38

So it was nice to have, I remember that Valentine's Day because it was right before

kay 10:42

the world changed. And that was my first Valentine's Day single.

Heather 10:46

Like

kay 10:47

previously I was in a relationship for the last three valentine's days, so That was a nice change, too. I didn't have to be home by myself No, my girls were like we're doing something. Oh, that was cute so you brought up gifts that your friend got you. Is there anything, gift wise that you've gotten before that you love, that you would want to get? I What's a good Valentine's Day gift for you? For me?

Heather 11:16

Flour, not flowers, flower, It's the weight of my heart. It just makes sense. Like flowers are cute and everything, but that's gonna die.

kay 11:26

Yeah.

Heather 11:27

give me flower instead of flowers.

kay 11:30

The green variety.

Heather 11:33

That is the way to my heart. Absolutely, that would be like the number one gift for me. That's cute, yeah. Or chocolate, because I love me some chocolate. I do like chocolate. Even the cheapest, dollar trade. I don't care. I love me some chocolate.

kay 11:45

Yep, I'm a chocolate girlie for sure. like I said, I love chocolate covered strawberries. You get those to me and you have my heart. I love chocolate covered strawberries. I'm not a big flower person, like, I won't be mad if I got flowers, but it's not on my list.

Heather 12:01

I got said flowers once, oh my gosh. I was working for a brand new company, three months in, and I get a phone call from the other company that was all the way down in the city. They're like, hey, we have flowers for you. Meanwhile. My phone is dry. I ain't got a text message from anyone in weeks. I haven't rolled around with anyone in months. Like, I'm like, I haven't rolled around with anyone. Who in the world sent me flowers? I was like, okay, now I have to tell my boss who's low key in love with me that I need to drive to the city to go and pick up these flowers from, I honestly have no idea who. So, I drive all the way into the city to get these flowers, and they're, of course, they're anonymous.

kay 12:48

I'm like,

Heather 12:49

seriously? Who, who the hell spent this much money on flowers to me? And not even

kay 12:56

tell you? No, so

Heather 12:57

I called the company on there, and I was like, look, I have no idea where these are from. And she's like, really? Ha No, ma'am. I have no idea. She's like, you're serious? I was like, I, it's, I, ma'am. Again, I haven't rolled around with anyone in months. I have no idea who this could be. She told me who it was, and it was someone that I went on a date with probably like two years before that. No. So I text them like, What? Why? What in the world made you think of me to send me flowers? he lives what? Two hours away from me. Why are you who you have that kind of money? Disposable money to send me flowers. Thank you so much. we still talk every so often, and I've drugged down there to see him a couple times, but I was like, nothing. Not a single thing. Not much has gone on since then. I still don't know why he had to make a lasting impression on someone. Like, that's crazy. It was

kay 14:08

a cute

Heather 14:08

gesture. It was a cute gesture, I haven't talked to you in two years. And actually I met him because I was dating his roommate and he was dating someone else but when we'd seen each other, we were like, just no, when this is over. And it's crazy because when I met him, him and his girlfriend were telling me about how much his mom didn't like the girlfriend. I was like, Oh, okay. What's his mom like? What does she like, yo? Getting the deets. Yeah. Ah! Cause at the time to do his best Little pocket boy. He was tall, handsome,

kay 14:43

but

Heather 14:44

he

kay 14:45

thought about you.

Heather 14:46

He did, which is crazy. That's,

kay 14:48

that's cute. It's so soft. Two

Heather 14:49

years, I don't know why in the world I popped up in his head, but. I didn't even sleep with the man at that point. And

kay 14:54

The fact that he didn't even sign the card, we need to update next week. We need to update.

Heather 15:01

I literally just thought about that as we were sitting here.

kay 15:05

and speaking of flowers, we got an anonymous submission. And I thought this was hilarious, because It seems to be a thing that guys don't understand. The anonymous submission was they would get flowers from their husband every year for Valentine's Day, but they hate flowers because one. Flowers die, obviously. And two, this person felt like it was kind of thoughtless. It's like, of course I'm gonna get my wife flowers for Valentine's Day. I don't have to put any extra thought into this. But, uh, one year, he apparently forgot Valentine's Day. And she was like, alright, bet! And she went and bought herself some diamond earrings. Oh, for her. she was like, I'm not gonna tell him about this. I got my gift that I actually want for Valentine's Day. But then eventually she did tell him. Cause she was like, you bought these earrings for me. But I think that is so on point Just because it's Valentine's Day doesn't necessarily mean No, not everyone wants flowers.

Heather 16:09

I really don't want flowers. We want flowers. I mean,

kay 16:11

we did a flower giveaway. But there are other ways to show your appreciation and your love for someone on Valentine's Day. It doesn't have to be flowers. It doesn't have to be chocolate. It doesn't have to be jewelry. Those are the stereotypical things. But know your partner. But

Heather 16:25

like you said, we did a flower giveaway. But we had submissions that didn't even want the flowers. Exactly. It's just not, it's just not, it's not for everybody. There's nothing wrong with that. And that's, that's so true. But you just gotta know what your lady likes.

kay 16:36

Yes, you gotta know what your partner wants. Mm

Heather 16:38

hmm.

kay 16:39

If you bought flowers and they have been vocal about not wanting flowers and then you continue to buy flowers, do you respect your partner? Do you respect what they want, what they like? And why would you waste your money getting your partner something that they don't even care to get? You need to give them something figure out what they want. It is thoughtless. It is like, here, I at least did this for you. Yeah. Yeah. I did have a guy bring me flowers once. And like, not Valentine's Day, but like first date. And I was just like, the gesture is nice, but I didn't even own a vase. Like, I'm like, I don't even know what to do with these.

Heather 17:21

I'd put in a

kay 17:22

couple. Yeah, like, I'm just not, I'm not a flower person. No. I love

Heather 17:28

I'm a flower person.

kay 17:30

I'm not a flower. I love the aesthetic of flowers. So, I have a lot of fake flowers in my house. But, real flowers, I gotta keep choosing. Do you plant?

Heather 17:39

Well, because I'm a plant girlie. Plant? I would love a plant. Oh, yeah. I would absolutely love a plant. That's something I can keep alive. Because that's not gonna

kay 17:45

die. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Flowers are just They're made

Heather 17:48

to die

kay 17:49

off. It's the look and it's a nice gesture. I don't know where this flower idea started. Who started this?

Heather 17:56

Hallmark, probably. Well, no, because they don't sell flowers. Who knows?

kay 18:00

Yeah, who started this? Flowers are not the way to go for most women. For

Heather 18:04

me, maybe balloons. I love balloons. I love balloons too. I love balloons.

kay 18:07

I would be happy with, I would actually cry. I wouldn't cry for anything.

Heather 18:11

You'd be all blue on the fucking stick and I'm gonna cry. I would cry,

kay 18:16

yeah. I would cry too. We were running a cute giveaway for a flower arrangement from our friends over at Concrete Rose

Heather 18:23

Floral. And we have a winner. We have a winner.

kay 18:27

Thank you so much for submitting your stories and following us and interacting with us. We really appreciate it.

Heather 18:36

Absolutely.

kay 18:36

Shout out to our anonymous winner. They decided not to disclose, which is fine, we appreciate your story and we value your privacy, so we would just love when you receive your arrangement from Concrete Rose Floral, Tag us, and then we'll take that post.

Heather 18:58

Yeah, send us, just send us

kay 19:00

a

Heather 19:00

picture. So we can see.

kay 19:00

I

Heather 19:01

just want to see what the flowers look like. I'm so jealous. I wanted the flowers.

kay 19:06

Unfortunately, we could not enter. but her story. Super cute. It's about the effort that guys put in. Valentine's Day does not need to be this big spectacle. Commercial. You know? Yeah. So, he decided that he wanted to cook her dinner. Aww, homemade dinner, that's so cute. And, he wasn't a cook. He didn't know what he was doing. So, he made her stay in the bedroom, and was like, I'm gonna cook dinner, you stay here, I got this. And, he didn't have it. He would keep coming back, like, hey, how do I do this? How do I do this? But, she didn't even know what he was cooking, so she's like, I need to know what you're, yeah, what you're doing. So he's, being very vague, saying, this is what I'm doing. So, he would ask her certain things, and she would try to give him help for it. It ended up taking him five hours to cook dinner. But he made a cute little setup that's, he had the set, he set the table with the tablecloth candles, and after five hours they were able to eat, but cute. It's the thought that counts. Cute. That is cute. Like he put in the effort, even though he knew he did know how to cook, he tried and he still needed her help. That was his gift to her was, I'm, I'm gonna make you dinner, girl. And that's so cute.

Heather 20:33

I can see, yeah, I can

kay 20:35

see why it took five hours because he probably didn't think potatoes.

Heather 20:40

Forever.

kay 20:40

Yeah. So he, he made potatoes and bruschetta and little, little broccoli, you know, I had to have your vegetable. No, that

Heather 20:49

broccoli looks good. It's got little growth marks on it. It looks good. He did.

kay 20:52

He did good. So, I mean, yeah, he tried. And that's probably why it took so long, because guys don't know how long potatoes take to cook. He's

Heather 21:02

probably

kay 21:03

like, alright, I got the potatoes, let's do this.

Heather 21:06

Hey, 25 minutes, nope.

kay 21:07

Yeah, no. Two

Heather 21:08

hours later, the potatoes could still cook if they wanted to. Yeah,

kay 21:12

she said it was really good, so. Aw, that's cute. He did it, he did his thing, and I appreciate that. One year I actually got homemade dinner as well. God forgive me. I do not remember what that man cooked. But it was the thought that counts because I didn't necessarily want to go out like I was very much in my hermit mode and He still took the time to make Valentine's Day special. It was like I'm gonna cook dinner So that was really cute and the year before that he made an effort to include my dog. Oh which That's so sweet. You gift my dog something? I'm gonna love you. That's cute. Like, he bought her this cute little dog bed and like a cookie that was like heart shaped. And I have the picture here of me and my dog with the cookie that he bought us.

Heather 22:10

That is so cute. But like,

kay 22:12

I didn't even care if he bought me anything. Right. He bought my dog. Yeah. That's so

Heather 22:17

sweet.

kay 22:17

So, it was, it was like, You making both of us your valentine, and when you include my baby, you know, that was really cute. but the best gift I've ever gotten, my uncle was my role model, like the male role for me, because I grew up without my dad, so he was like that male figure in my life. And he passed away when I was 17. And I had always wanted a locket with, his picture in it. And I mentioned that in passing, a long time ago. And one of my boyfriends did it for me that is so sweet. I thought it was really sweet. And I can't wear it because it reminds me of him. But, like, just the thought that people hear you. And like, no, that's a

Heather 23:08

really thoughtful gift.

kay 23:09

Yeah, she said this months ago. I'm going to remember this so that I can give it to her at the right time. And he got the picture. He did. Oh, yeah. A lot of work. That's cute. Exactly. So I think it's adorable when people include other people for your Valentine's Day. Like it doesn't have to be, you know, Flowers, chocolate, whatever, but like your dog, your child, your like if they include other people in the gift That is so cute and

Heather 23:41

it's so

kay 23:42

thoughtful and it's I think it's more Memorable, too. Absolutely. Because I'm sure there's other You can't

Heather 23:48

even wear the necklace because it makes you think of it. Yeah, but

kay 23:51

like, I'm sure there's other Valentine's Day things that have happened for me that I'm just like, it's Valentine's Day. You don't remember, right? Yeah. But I remember the ones where they included other things. Very personal. Yeah, exactly. I remember the personable ones, yeah, for sure. Never have

Heather 24:06

I ever

kay 24:07

Never have I ever sent a flirty text to the wrong person.

Heather 24:18

It's Belle!

kay 24:19

We have our special

Heather 24:21

guest

kay 24:21

back. You can't see it

Heather 24:23

in all his fluff. Yay!

kay 24:28

Okay. sending a flirty text to the wrong person. Ooh, I don't know about you, but I've actually sent something to my mom. Oh, And she just laughed. She was like, okay. Alright girl. See what you're doing. She's your mom. My mom understood. You know? So she's like, I see you girl! But that was still embarrassing as fuck.

Heather 24:51

Yeah, I can't remember who I sent mine to, but I know that I definitely

kay 24:56

Now I'm like, hyper aware of it. I'm like, okay, before I send this, make sure it's the right person.

Heather 25:03

Never have I ever hooked up in a public place. Maybe stories for another time? Yeah.

kay 25:16

We will You guys! Send us some stories so we can center an episode around that. I know,

Heather 25:25

we

kay 25:25

can Because I love it. The idea of the publicness. Did you get caught? Did you not get caught? Uh, yeah.

Heather 25:33

Where?

kay 25:35

Yeah, yeah. Let's, let's Future episode. Public. Place. Okay.

Heather 25:44

You're going to learn a lot about us. Alright girl, we're about to get into it. This is the last one and we're done. No explanations. No. Never have I ever had sex with two people on the same day.

kay 26:07

Next game.

Heather 26:08

Homefront Slash.

kay 26:09

Homefront Slash.

Heather 26:11

Since we were talking about Valentine's Day when we were younger. We're going to do three of our crushes when we were younger, in our childhood. Yes, childhood

kay 26:18

crushes.

Heather 26:21

My three childhood crushes are going to be Joey Lawrence, Matthew Lawrence, Oh my god. And, I can't, this is, Thack, I can't even say it, Zachary Banks.

kay 26:37

Oh, from Hocus Pocus? Yes,

Heather 26:39

yes, yes.

kay 26:40

It would have been funny if you gave Andy Lawrence. The whole, all three brothers. He

Heather 26:44

was, I was gonna, he was so young though. He's so young.

kay 26:48

He's my age.

Heather 26:50

No he's not.

kay 26:51

We're the same age. No,

Heather 26:53

I thought, well, he was very young when Joe and Matt were.

kay 26:58

They were older, so they were hotter. Joey Lawrence. Matthew Lawrence. Zachary Banks.

Heather 27:05

Zach.

kay 27:05

Zachary. Zachary. Zachary. Okay. Who you gonna, huh? Matthew Lawrence.

Heather 27:15

Okay.

kay 27:16

Woo! Matthew Lawrence for sure. Especially, Boy Meets World era. Oh my god.

Heather 27:24

What? I'm

kay 27:24

gonna go with Zachary. Okay. Because. In the movie, it was just like, Oh my god, he's so adorable. Yeah, but you're gonna

Heather 27:34

slash Joey?

kay 27:36

Joey is so annoying to me. I could live without it. I watch their podcast. Oh, they have a podcast? Yeah. It's called Brotherly Love. It's so cute. Oh, check it out. Yeah, if we were to do all three brothers, I'm wedding Andy, the youngest one. I'm still going to hump Matthew, but I'm wedding Andy because he's awesome. I love him. I'm always going to slash Joey in this instance because he annoys me. I don't know what it is.

Heather 28:04

We'll have to see. Always has?

kay 28:06

Always has.

Heather 28:09

Well, um, I'm going to hump Matthew as well. I'm going to slash, I can't say it, Thackery, Thackery, Thackery Banks, like that's, y'all made it as impossible as you freaking could, say his damn name, but I'm going to wed Joey Lawrence. Have you seen Melissa and Joey? You didn't love him in that? Oh my gosh! It's the bald head. It's the bald head. It always comes down to a bald head.

kay 28:45

I try to give bald headed men, uh,

Heather 28:49

And I try to steer outside my type, and uh, I always find my way back to the

kay 28:54

bald men. I think, you know, I don't, I thought he was good looking, but there was something about him that just wasn't. He

Heather 29:03

reminds me so much of George Michaels, and I grew up loving George Michaels, regardless of his sexuality. I love that man. So I feel like that's kind of rare. And I'm just a little bit older than you, so maybe I just gravitate toward Joey.

kay 29:19

Okay. My childhood crushes. Okay. He's still very, very popular now. But, Usher.

Heather 29:28

Okay.

kay 29:30

Jonathan Taylor Thomas. From Home. I thought about him earlier. Okay. Loved him. And Devin Sawa.

Heather 29:38

I thought about him too.

kay 29:40

Those were my ultimate, ultimate childhood crushes.

Heather 29:44

Okay. Um. I'm gonna hump Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Because I have to wed Devin Sawa. He was my fourth one on my list, but I was like, no, I know that she's gonna say it. So, we'll save him for her. So, I'm gonna have to slash Usher.

kay 30:05

I literally carried the Usher His My Way CD. That's

Heather 30:12

a good song.

kay 30:12

I was in third grade carrying this CD around with me everywhere I went. Like, I was in love with Usher. I was so in love with Usher, my teacher that year. For my birthday, wrote me a card, and it said, Roses are red, violets are blue, I hope you have a great birthday, and Usher does too. That's so cute. Because I was obsessed with Usher, okay? I

Heather 30:34

can't picture the picture of him with, like, the goggles, right? Yes!

kay 30:38

I loved Usher. So, I'm not gonna hump him because he's had some Herpes. Things going on. Oh.

Heather 30:50

I slashed the right one. Oh, Jesus. Yeah.

kay 30:52

Yeah. So, I'm going to hump. I think I'm probably going to be on the same page as you. I'm going to hump Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I'm going to wed Devon Sawa. And I'm going to slash. I

Heather 31:06

haven't seen him recently. Devon Sawa? Is he still gorgeous? Oh, girl. Oh,

kay 31:11

good.

Heather 31:11

He deserves it. He deserves it. He's on

kay 31:14

the Chucky series. He's gonna be in a couple new horror movies. he's like horror god right now. Oh! Yeah. And he is, uh, uh, uh huh. You see this bad boy. Devin Sawa, yes. And he's a fucking good dude.

Heather 31:30

Well, obviously, because he aged like this. That's how you can tell someone's probably not the way they age. but he's still very, very handsome. Oh, wow. He's still very gorgeous. Very gorgeous. I

kay 31:44

definitely love him,

Heather 31:44

so I'm glad I wedded him.

kay 31:46

Mm-hmm I mean, I would wet him for sure, because I think he would be an awesome husband. He's an awesome dad, like on social media, what I can tell.

Heather 31:54

That's cute. I

kay 31:55

think he's the, the wed choice for sure. So you're slashing up her slash an Oh sure. Because of the herpes thing. If it wasn't for the herpes thing, I would hump him and I would slash Jonathan Taylor Damas because? He didn't age well. Laughter

Heather 32:14

Hold on. I swear, that's how you can tell if someone is a good person or not. Like, how they age. How they age. Oh! Yeah.

kay 32:22

Laughter Mhm.

Heather 32:26

Yeah, when you're a crappy person, the Lord snatches away them looks, so. Wow. Yeah,

kay 32:32

The peak era of Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Yes.

Heather 32:34

So now that we did our taco crushes, we're gonna move on to our dog crushes. Current crushes? Current. Is he current? He's definitely current of mine. So my three are

kay 32:46

Hunnam,

Heather 32:48

you know,

kay 32:49

um, he's in the motorcycle show. This is

Heather 32:52

Anarchy.

kay 32:53

Yeah.

Heather 32:54

Jack Sellar.

kay 32:55

Wait, wait, is it called This is Anarchy? Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Heather 33:01

Yeah? Yeah, he's Jack Sellar in Sons of Anarchy.

kay 33:05

Sons of Anarchy, yes. You said This is Anarchy.

Heather 33:09

Probably because I've been drinking too much, but Son's of Anarchy. Son's of Anarchy. So, Charlie.

kay 33:15

Mm hmm.

Heather 33:16

Zane. I

kay 33:17

WAS GONNA USE ZANE! Now I gotta come up with someone else. Okay. Well, Pooh.

Heather 33:22

Well, I'm gonna use him. That's fine. That's fine. And Tim McGraw. Oh my god. See, that's what I was saying earlier. I need three, I need three hot men. So, three hot, as far as I know, unproblematic men.

kay 33:36

I was going to say, that's so crazy. Of all people. That man is Cause, yeah, he's definitely one of That album with him

Heather 33:43

as the baby with the

kay 33:43

Yes! Mind of mine. That

Heather 33:45

album is so good. So good. So album

kay 33:48

is just as good too. I hope

Heather 33:49

that won all the awards, cause that was a really good album. It did. Uh, boo. His first two albums

kay 33:55

were perfection. Honestly, it was

Heather 33:58

a really good album.

kay 33:58

Perfection. so we had Charlie Hunnam, Zayn, and Tim McGraw. I am going to hump Zayn. Mm hmm. Just hump. Beautiful. Yeah, just hump. Because I watched a podcast that he was on and he said he doesn't really believe in love. So I can't marry someone who doesn't believe in love. But he would be a good leg. So I'm going to pump him. I'm going to wed Tim McGraw. Cause, I love that man. I know,

Heather 34:36

him and Faith. Yes, they're still going strong.

kay 34:39

That obviously means that man is marriage material, first of all. And his dad played for my team that I love, the Mets. So, I grew up. Just loving him and his dad already. And then, I'm gonna slash Charlie, unfortunately. I never watch Sons of Anarchy, which is blasphemy, according to my friends.

Heather 35:03

It's a good movie. Or not a good movie, I'm sorry. It's a good show.

kay 35:06

Yeah, I just never could get into it. And then, I haven't really seen him in anything else.

Heather 35:12

Okay. So, I am going to hump Charlie.

kay 35:21

Okay, why Out of all those, why are you humping Charlie? He's

Heather 35:25

gorgeous, and the only one more gorgeous than him is Zane, and we're gonna go to bed. We magically believe in love together in marriage, in wed, which means I would unfortunately have to slash Tim McGraw, um, he is, I looked it up just today just to make sure, and he is still just as good looking as he was, but you know who's also still just as good looking and my type? Zayn. Oh my gosh, he's so,

kay 35:54

yeah, Zayn is beautiful. When

Heather 35:56

you were like, look at your adult crushes, I was like, oh, number one.

kay 36:01

Obviously, because I had him on my list,

Heather 36:03

too. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man. Heard that music, so nasty, nasty, nasty man.

kay 36:10

And non problematic. For the most part. Yeah, that's fair. Alright, so I'm gonna Scratch his anal glands. Well, no, I mean Enter another one.

Heather 36:22

I mean, I doubt that I would put him in any other degree.

kay 36:26

Right, so, yeah. Okay. This is so random, but this is like, really recent crushes.

Heather 36:32

Yeah. Nevermind, yeah.

kay 36:35

G Eazy. Okay. Jake Gyllenhaal.

Heather 36:43

Okay.

kay 36:44

Chris Evans.

Heather 36:48

So, we're going, this is easy for me, as a Swiftie. We're going to hump G Easy. Just cause he's gorgeous, I don't know enough about him besides he's good looking. Tall, skinny white boy. We're going to wed Chris Evans, because he is very good looking and very unproblematic as far as I know. and speaking of problematic What he did to my girl

kay 37:14

okay,

Heather 37:15

a whole grudges he is very good looking though.

kay 37:20

Yeah I'm gonna hump Jake Dylan I think he's gorgeous I don't see him as marriage material.

Heather 37:32

No.

kay 37:32

So, Chris Evans? Definitely marriage material. Captain America. Like, who's more That's

Heather 37:39

what he's from. Okay. Yeah. Like, who's

kay 37:41

more Just He's the most ideal man. Very beautiful. And

Heather 37:46

But he's very

kay 37:48

beautiful.

Heather 37:48

Um,

kay 37:49

and I love G Eazy, okay? I bump G Eazy in my car. Like, that's my man. The tall, skinny, dark vibe. If I put him in with anyone else, I would've humped him. See, I I'm gonna hump him. I'm gonna pull you.

Heather 38:07

I'm gonna hump

kay 38:07

him

Heather 38:07

across the aisle. Exactly. I also listen to a lot of Halsey so I've heard songs about him, so I'm like, I know that, like, that would be a nice little hump. Not a wedding, but a hump.

kay 38:19

Yeah, a nice hump, but I'm gonna slash him because of what he did to Halsey. Because we're girls girls, you're gonna slash Jake's, I'm gonna slash Jake's. G E Z. And Chris can get it. And Chris can get it. Either way. Cause he has to do

Heather 38:33

this.

kay 38:33

I love this. This or that? Okay. Chocolate covered strawberries or those little candy hearts for Valentine's Day?

Heather 38:47

Chocolate covered strawberries.

kay 38:48

A store bought card or a handwritten letter?

Heather 38:54

A store bought card. Okay.

kay 38:58

The Notebook or My Bloody Valentine?

Heather 39:01

Oh, My Bloody Valentine.

kay 39:02

Go on a blind date set up by your archenemy or a date with your most recent ex?

Heather 39:19

My heart is pounding fast. Um, Oh, I'm gonna, Arch Enemy. So, yeah.

kay 39:27

Blind Date?

Heather 39:27

Yeah, yeah, Blind Date. Okay,

kay 39:29

that's Okay, we don't have to, we don't have to discuss it. No, Your

Heather 39:33

turn.

kay 39:34

Okay.

Heather 39:34

Uh, Chocolate Covered Strawberries or Little Heart Candies?

kay 39:39

Chocolate Covered Strawberries.

Heather 39:41

A store bought card or a handwritten letter?

kay 39:45

Letter. I'm a letter person. Letter. Give me a letter please.

Heather 39:53

The notebook or my bloody valentine. My bloody valentine. And then go on a blind date set up by your archenemy or on a date with your most recent ex. Yeah, you hit me hard with the my recent ex.

kay 40:18

Yeah, I'm thinking about that too. Arch enemy.

Heather 40:21

Yeah.

kay 40:22

Blind date.

Heather 40:23

I can leave that. Exactly. Yeah. Asshole.

kay 40:25

Yeah, that was, ugh. Why we gotta bring him into this? Okay. True or false? Over 9 million Americans buy Valentine's gifts for their pets. I would say true. I would say true as well. True! Oh, good. Good. Your pets deserve love, too. Absolutely. The most popular Valentine's Day flower is the tulip. True or false? False. I say false as well.

Heather 40:58

Probably roses. Even though tulip

kay 41:00

is my favorite flower. It

Heather 41:01

is beautiful, but I feel like stereotypical flower would be roses. Yeah.

kay 41:07

False, because it is the rose. Yes, we know what it means. more people propose on Valentine's Day than any other day of the year. True or false?

Heather 41:22

I'm going to say false because I think it's Christmas that it's more likely.

kay 41:26

That's probably, yeah. I was going to say true only because people associate love with marriage and marriage with Valentine's Day like that. But I feel like Christmas probably is, yeah. false. Christmas is number one. Okay, we are three, three, three. Alright, let's go. The original Valentine was a Christian martyr who secretly performed weddings. True or

Heather 41:53

false?

kay 41:55

I'm gonna say

Heather 41:55

true.

kay 41:56

It sounds true. It does,

Heather 41:57

it sounds true.

kay 41:58

You know why it sounds true? Because it's just like, okay. Of

Heather 42:03

course. Of course.

kay 42:04

Of course it's a Christian martyr.

Heather 42:06

Where else have these traditions started?

kay 42:09

I'm gonna say true. You're gonna say true. True! We'll see. The first heart shaped chocolate box was invented in the 1800s. True or false?

Heather 42:24

I'm gonna say true. I mean, if this goes all the way back to Christianity, I'm gonna say true. Yeah, that seems about right. Because

kay 42:30

Well, the marketing of Valentine's Day probably didn't start that. But I hear they

Heather 42:39

can make a box. That's true, that's

kay 42:41

true. Okay, we'll say true. They definitely made boxes back in the 1800s, you're right. True! Oh my god, that's so funny. In Japan Women give men chocolate on Valentine's Day

Heather 43:04

I'm gonna say false. I feel like they're dating cultures similar to ours So I feel like it wouldn't be, not Japan. I'm sure that there is somewhere that that is common. But not Japan.

kay 43:17

I'm gonna say false because I feel like Japanese women are just as dainty as American women so then why would they get married to each other? Right, their

Heather 43:33

dating culture is similar to ours so I would say false. True. Oh, we're wrong?

kay 43:38

Men reciprocate on White Day in March. Oh, March what? Does it say? It doesn't say. We gotta look that up. What's White Day? So women in Japan give men chocolates on Valentine's Day while men reciprocate on White Day.

Heather 43:57

Hmm.

kay 43:58

That is interesting.

Heather 44:01

White Day in Japan is March 14th, and it's essentially just, oh, it's the act of return gifts. So It's just a month later where the men do it.

kay 44:14

Hmm, we're learning something new. I

Heather 44:17

never would have guessed Japan has it differently. So I guess Japan does celebrate Valentine's Day, but it's for the women, given to the men, and then a month later the men give to the women.

kay 44:25

Okay, that's cute. Learning something new on dating rumors.

Heather 44:30

We were wrong for once. We

kay 44:31

were wrong.

Heather 44:32

For once.

kay 44:32

We are 5 for 6. It's okay. We got a winning record. We're okay. We're still passing. Yes. In South Korea, single people mourn their loneliness by eating black noodles on Valentine's Day.

Heather 44:51

I'm gonna say true. I'm gonna say true too. I think I've heard that they would do. Yeah.

kay 44:55

Like, if I'm single, I'm gonna eat black noodles. I'm gonna bring some black noodles over here on Valentine's Day. That's what we're doing next

Heather 45:03

Friday. We're eating black noodles. Yes! Let's

kay 45:07

do it! it's true. It's called Black Day for single people. Oh, on Valentine's Day? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's so funny. I love how Valentine's Day is a universal idea. Like a day for everyone. But different cultures handle it different ways. Cause you know, like Thanksgiving for Americans is not a holiday in other places. But Valentine's Day is a holiday for everyone. They just handle it differently. I love that.

Heather 45:38

I do like that. I like the black needle thing.

kay 45:39

Yeah. The average person eats 30 pounds of chocolate during Valentine's week.

Heather 45:48

Oh, I'd say true. I would

kay 45:49

say false. 30 pounds? That's a lot of chocolate. I mean, how much is in a

Heather 45:56

Life

kay 45:57

is like a box of chocolates. You're gonna eat the whole box? That can't be 30 pounds though, really. You have to eat like 5 of those. 30

Heather 46:09

pounds of chocolate? Well, I mean, we're gonna disagree for once.

kay 46:13

Uh, it's false! Oh,

Heather 46:15

okay. It says

kay 46:16

that would be a lot of chocolate! I literally just said that. Um, the heart shape we associate with love was inspired by the shape of actual human hearts. That is morbid as fuck. I don't, I don't think it's shaped like that. I would say false. No, I'm

Heather 46:39

sure there's something else that's more shaped like a heart than that. I'm gonna say false. I'm

kay 46:43

gonna say false. False.

Heather 46:44

False.

kay 46:47

plants like ivy. Okay, yes, I can see that. Yeah.

Heather 46:51

I can definitely see that. Okay.

kay 46:54

That's interesting. I'm learning something new again. Because I would never have guessed that. But I can see it, but I wouldn't have, like, correlated the two. And last but not least, Cupid is the Roman god of love, But he originally carried a trident instead of a bow and arrow. Mmm, yeah, I can see that's true. I'm gonna say false, because I don't think he was Roman at all.

Heather 47:20

Oh, that's just a Roman thing?

kay 47:22

But I don't think Cupid was a Roman god. I think Cupid I don't know where Cupid comes from, but like

Heather 47:30

Yeah, but I can see them switching up history for

kay 47:33

That's true.

Heather 47:34

Commercial

kay 47:35

purposes. I mean, Cupid's origin story. That's what we needed to talk about for Valentine's Day. Where the hell did Cupid come from?

Heather 47:44

Hallmark.

kay 47:47

False. Cupid has always been associated with the bow and arrow.

Heather 47:51

Oh!

kay 47:52

Well, it didn't say anything about him being Roman. But okay. That's interesting. I guess I'm going to work. Yeah. Y'all give us some trivia if you have any. That's interesting. Y'all have a nice

Heather 48:04

day. Yeah. I've learned a lot.

kay 48:06

Yeah. I never would have guessed. I'm

Heather 48:08

telling you. We're eating the black noodles on Friday. Okay Heathens. XOXO. And before you go, don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe on all of our social medias. And send in your stories and your hauntless slashes and all that good stuff and if you're extra nasty still didn't get enough stick around for just the tip

48:33

Oh, I love just the tip. Don't put me in that position. Like, I don't know, if my friend, I don't know how serious we're between you guys and I have to now come to my friend and be like, Hey. Someone said that was in you is now in my DMs. Get your man. Sometimes, sometimes you don't even know. But I, I won't. Or you don't, that's what it says. You don't know how serious it was. I won't date a friend's ex. That is crossing the line. But if they had like a thing and it wasn't like no, no, no. Or if it was a thing before we were like really good friends. Right, right, right. There's no way to know, so it kind of like crosses lines. But don't put me in this if you know. Yeah, because I don't know. Right. You obviously know more about that situation than I know. Stick around for the Eskimo sister story. That needs to be an episode. That could be an episode. Because, yeah. Send us your Eskimo sister story. Absolutely.