The Catfish

  When Pics Lie & Dating Goes Rogue

  Ever matched with someone who looked nothing like their pictures? Yeah… us too. This week, we’re diving into the wild world of catfishing, questionable angles, and the shocking (or hilarious) stories that come with it.

But that’s not all—Heatherr and Kay are playing a few rounds of Hump, Wed, Slash (because why not make impossible choices?), and we’ve got both nice and naughty date ideas for you to try. Whether you’re dodging catfish or planning a spicy night out, we’ve got you covered.

Like, comment, and let us know—what’s the worst catfish experience you’ve had? We might just feature it in a future episode!

#DatingInReverse #CatfishChronicles #HumpWedSlash #DatingFails

Transcript

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kay 0:00

you hear from him after that? Did you kill him? Welcome in, heathens, this is Dating in Reverse, where we acknowledge the weird and wild cesspool dating culture has become, but we're still diving in head first. I'm Kay Heather. And I'm Heather Nicole. We're always sharing outrageous date stories, playing a few classic games, so grab your tipple, moisturize your lips, take a hit, and come join us. We have some personal stories for you today involving Something that's a little close to home.

heather 1:13

I'm sure everyone has one.

kay 1:15

Everyone. Catfishing.

heather 1:18

Yeah, everyone has a catfishing story. Of some sort.

kay 1:21

And even if you don't, you know someone who has. Yeah,

heather 1:24

absolutely.

kay 1:25

Or you just watch the show and you,

heather 1:28

everyone

kay 1:28

knows what a catfish is, so these stories will be interesting.

heather 1:34

Yeah,

kay 1:34

I'm

heather 1:34

excited to hear yours.

kay 1:35

I'm excited to hear yours! I have too many

heather 1:38

ones, just cause there's just not much substance to any of the ones. I have too many stories. That's

kay 1:43

all good. We're gonna share our stories today. We're gonna play Humph! Wed! Slash!

heather 1:50

We're going to

kay 1:51

play the Naughty Nice date list, give you some more ideas for what you should be doing on dates.

heather 1:58

And then we have another Hump Wed Slash that Pamela gave to us.

kay 2:03

Oh! User submitted Hump Wed Slash! Thank you girlfriend! Thank you! It's going to be fun to hear what you guys want to hump wed in Slash.

heather 2:15

I didn't get her opinion! Pamela, comment in the comments. Chime in. Yeah, what, what is, later on you'll tell us.

kay 2:23

All right, let's get into these stories.

heather 2:26

So, I guess I'm just gonna start with the more controversial, crazy one. Just, yeah, yeah. This one actually starts on TikTok and okay, we're

kay 2:40

not in tinder. Okay,

heather 2:42

we get there So the story starts on TikTok when I'm just scrolling and there was this influencer who faced the video singing to a guy. I thought it was cute, liked it, and just went on about my way. A few weeks later, I seen him on Tinder and I knew it was him because of course he posted the TikTok.

kay 3:07

Oh. He knew he was like

heather 3:08

semi famous. He made,

kay 3:10

he used his little moment. He did. He used his

heather 3:12

15 minutes for his Tinder. So I knew it was him and we matched and I was like, hee hee, ha ha, I seen your TikTok. So this was also COVID time, like peak COVID time. Um, I don't even know why I was trying to date, but it was peaked every time. We were all bored. Right, exactly. Exactly. I'm going to work through it, but, yeah, I don't know why. Because I didn't want to go outside, like I didn't want to go to a restaurant or anything like that. Yeah. So, before every date, I always have some kind of phone conversation or video chat, just something, I need to see if you can carry a conversation, because if you can't. We don't need to go to a public place. We don't need to waste each other's time if we can't even carry a conversation on phone. Like it's just not gonna be fun.

kay 4:00

That's a great point. Yeah. You need to start doing that. Yeah.

heather 4:05

Preferably video chats. It would help us all through what happens today. But phone chat, it was, it was fine. And it was COVID. So it was actually, we both had time for Multiple phone conversations. So, we had decided, I didn't want to go to a restaurant. And I was like, well, you can come over, which, this is why I always say, do as I say, not as I do. Because I don't recommend any of the activities that I do in this story. But, so I was like, bring food. And we could smoke, because apparently that's my thing so, bring pizza, bring green, we're going to have a little green date. Before he came over, he had told me that he had access to, we'll call them portobello mushrooms.

kay 4:53

Okay. Okay. I got it. I'm picking up what you're laying down. Okay, I got

heather 4:58

you. So, I was like, ooh, that sounds like a party. Absolutely. Bring the portobello mushrooms. Have you done

kay 5:03

that before? Oh,

heather 5:04

yeah.

kay 5:04

Okay.

heather 5:04

Oh, yeah. I do enjoy them. Um. And I hadn't done them since I was younger, so I was like, absolutely, but again, do as I say, not as I do. Why would I want to do that with, uh, essentially a stranger? I didn't think this through. I didn't think this through. So, he comes over and brings pizza and brings green and brings portobello mushrooms. Okay. When he shows up Um, I don't know what magic she used as well, and he used in editing, but he was not as good looking. She put a filter on. Not nearly. And I guess he had did too, and that's the thing is I could point these things out, but it didn't. And then again, to see a video. And I figure that's what he looked like because of the video. He was really cute in the video and all of his pictures. So I guess he was just good.

kay 6:09

And it wasn't that long of a time difference. It was the same

heather 6:13

No, no. It was all I guess maybe she taught him how to I don't know. It just wasn't exactly It was the same guy but it wasn't really the same guy. So I was like, oh. I want that pizza and I really want those portobello mushrooms. That's right, girl. So, we're gonna have fun. So we eat, we smoke, and then we take the portobello mushrooms.

kay 6:37

Okay.

heather 6:38

He was actually really fun. Like I said, we had had a few phone conversations.

kay 6:42

Okay. So it was

heather 6:43

like, he was actually fun to talk to. And just as the beat drops and the portobello mushrooms kick in, he decides to start talking about abortions. But with an A. And his stance and my stance,

kay 7:02

not

heather 7:03

at all. So I was like, um, this man's gotta go. I have to get this man out of my house. Because I wanted to yeet him off my patio, but that's frowned upon. So That's

kay 7:17

frowned upon. Yeah,

heather 7:18

you can't do

kay 7:19

that.

heather 7:19

No. So I did what anyone would do in that situation and I lied and I said that my child needed me. My kids were not here.

kay 7:29

I'm not gonna

heather 7:29

do portobello mushrooms with my kids in the house. Absolutely not.

kay 7:32

Or bring some random stranger. Yeah, no, no, no,

heather 7:35

no, no. Absolutely not. So I go in my child's room and I'm just pacing back and forth. Like, what did you get yourself into girl? You are on the moon with a stranger who wants to talk about abortions. Like what is. What is going on right now?

kay 7:55

Did he take the portobello mushrooms too? He did. He did. So he decided with his

heather 8:01

Well I don't know if Magical cloud he's on Well that's the thing about portobellos You don't know when they're gonna kick in So But I would imagine possibly He did around the same time I don't, I don't Who brings up that sober, and then who brings it up on portabellos? I don't know.

kay 8:25

I don't get

heather 8:26

that. So, I came back out and I was like, my child needs me. You're at the lead. He asked if he could smoke a cigarette. I was like, absolutely, anyone too. Um, but then you gotta go.

kay 8:37

You kicked him out while he was high on portobello mushrooms. Did you hear from him after that? Did you kill him?

heather 8:48

Well, I did make sure he got home alive. Um, obviously I made sure that he got home alive. But no, he just I don't want to talk about that old portobello mushrooms and like the whole everything changed. I was like, oh, that's

kay 9:02

weird. Just switch the vibe. Yeah,

heather 9:04

so I walked him downstairs. and then I happened to see my neighbors, and I told them a little bit of what was going on. And then I came upstairs, locked my door, bored out my windows, like, I don't This man is not coming back in. And I do what I'm just imagining him trying to get in through the window because you can't Up here, girl! Like, oh and oh my gosh, what's that movie where they're the vampires and they just He's right here. I want more portobello mushrooms! Oh my god! Oh my god! So, I did what 20 and 20 Heather would do, and I reached out to my ex. Trying to make everything a better, and he did! He actually did a good job of like, So that's the thing is when you're on portobello mushrooms. Shit's going crazy around you. It's only going to make it worse. It's going to make the portabella experience bad. So I need to get back out there. Get out of it. Gotcha, gotcha. Once, Homeboy was gone and, I knew he got home, he told, he texted me and he told me that he was leaving his car here and his friends were to come get him. I was like, cool. Okay, good. So, he knew he shouldn't. Yeah. I guess his portobello mushrooms kicked in down there. We did talk a little bit after everything. But, you know, after, like, essentially catfishing me. Portabellas, I would like, end up abortion.

kay 10:43

Cause you like, you gave it more of a chance, like you don't look as good, but you're here, we got food, we got portabellos, we can still make this date a thing, but he

heather 10:57

ruined

kay 10:58

that.

heather 10:58

Like why would you? No offense, men. that is one thing where, even if you agree with me, I don't care to have that conversation with you about it. Like, not a single one of you in the world. Sorry.

kay 11:11

I think that's a bear. I

heather 11:13

mean, I'll have a conversation with my children one day. They're boys. But, it's just, it's not really, y'all got plenty of things to worry about. Don't really, I'm sure you, they are also in the situation, but day to day! Right, right. Don't be worried about abortions, you're fine. Exactly. and definitely don't talk about that on the first date. On the

kay 11:30

first date, yeah. Yeah,

heather 11:32

or bored about mushrooms.

kay 11:36

Stop bringing down the highs, okay? I've never been high, but don't bring down the highs.

heather 11:42

And at the end of the night, it was just me by myself. And I, the night ended well. Max did not come over. I was gonna say, what happened with the eggs? No. He just calmed me down. Um, he didn't come over or nothing like that. He just calmed me down and just enjoyed. Yup, so that's the end of my portabella catfish story. Okay. Let's do a homeboy slash. Plus lighten up the mood.

kay 12:14

In honor of Catfish, my first contestant is the host of Catfish, Nev.

heather 12:22

Okay.

kay 12:23

Nev Schulman, I think his name is. once you randomly selected Killian Murphy. Actor, Peaky Blinders. What's Peaky Blinders? Is it a series? It's like a, yeah, it's on Netflix. Oh, okay. It's like a old time, like, gangster.

heather 12:46

Oh, okay, that's exactly where I know him from. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

kay 12:49

yeah. Um, and then Adam Brody, who we were just talking about, Seth from the O. C.

heather 12:57

That is crazy work right there. Oh my gosh. That is crazy. I just brought this man up.

kay 13:07

Fifteen

heather 13:07

minutes ago we were setting up because I wasn't even talking about him. I was talking about his wife and he just played into the story.

kay 13:14

So to recap, we got Neve Shulman, Killian Murphy, and Adam Brody.

heather 13:22

I'm gonna hump Neve, has he done anything controversial? No, he's a good guy. Okay, I'm gonna hump Neve, I'm going to wed Adam, well. I'm Seth, specifically, but I'm gonna go with Adam. And then I'm gonna have to slash Ke Keegan? Keelyan. Keelyan. Keelyan. Keelyan. Um, just cause I don't know enough about him. And because I know that Adam is a good husband and he's my type, so I'll go with it. Oh and he's tiny.

kay 13:53

He's tiny.

heather 13:55

I betcha.

kay 13:58

I am almost inclined to agree with you. Their butt? Yeah. Neve, I think he's gorgeous. It's, he's so hairy. And that just I can't, it's an ick. For me, it's an ick. Like when? Well, if

heather 14:16

he's hairy, oh God, I don't wanna piss anyone off. If he's hairy and sweaty, I can't. Okay. Yeah, like, like hair does not bother me. He has, even though like a bald head,

kay 14:27

if you're wearing a shirt and I can see your hair out of your shirt, that's an ick for me. So I wanna hump him based on his face, his body. I'm like, oh, I don't know. So. I think it would be too much of an ick for me, so I'm going to

heather 14:51

Killian,

kay 14:52

but based on Well, she was really hot.

heather 14:55

Yeah,

kay 14:56

based on, like, he has to have, like, the Peaky Blinders set up. Okay, he has to have the We

heather 15:02

role playing! Right,

kay 15:03

he gotta be in that suit, and The little hat. Yeah, he has to give Peaky Blinders. I'm humping that. Absolutely. I'm gonna marry Adam as well, cause Oops. Who didn't like Seth Cohen? Like, oh my god, I love OC.

heather 15:19

Yeah.

kay 15:20

Um.

heather 15:21

I haven't watched that in not too long. Me too. That was a good one.

kay 15:23

Yes, and I, I, he's funny. He is did you watch his new show?

heather 15:29

Yes. I celebrated it right here. At this point, because I remember. It's a brilliant idea. It really is. Yeah. It

kay 15:34

really is. Did you watch his new show with Kristen Bell? No,

heather 15:37

I didn't know he had a It's on

kay 15:38

Netflix, and she has a podcast. Oh, I know, I knew she has a podcast. It might be about dating on the show. I don't know. Yeah. No, I didn't know they had a show. And it's like, sexy Seth Cohen.

heather 15:54

Oh.

kay 15:54

It's like, adult, sexy Seth Cohen. Wow. So yes, I'm gonna marry him. And then I'm gonna slash Nev, only because I'm not doing the body hair. I'm not doing it. Women have to be so Perfect.

heather 16:10

That's true. I shave just to do this damn podcast. Exactly!

kay 16:14

Men can just be out here, hairy and it's fine. Personally, that's one of my personal ics. I'm sorry, I'm not doing it.

heather 16:25

Okay. It's my turn. We're going to go with a boy band theme. Oh, my

kay 16:33

favorite. You are finding the beat to my heart.

heather 16:35

And we're going to do NSYNC. And we're not even going to mention

kay 16:41

Thou shalt not even be mentioned. I'm not even

heather 16:44

putting them in here. So, and this is really hard for me. So I wonder if this will be hard for you. I did Joey Paton.

kay 16:52

Joey Fatone, yes.

heather 16:54

Jaycee.

kay 16:55

Jaycee, yes. And Lance. And Lance. You have Chris out. No, I'm kidding.

heather 17:03

I know. I had to really think about this one. What

kay 17:09

era? Because, are we doing now or back during like the heyday of like bye bye bye? Like early 2000s?

heather 17:17

I would say that, but I feel like Joey Fatone is really He's getting a little older now, but he got better looking with age. So he wasn't even the hottest teak in sync. Hey, you do them now then. And I'm going to do them. No, I don't think I want to do them now because they're like old. No offense. We're not that much far behind you, but I mean, but not when they were like in sync, but like thirties, you know what I mean? Like just, they, Looked, I mean they were cute too, but they were completely different people, you know, like think about Lance. Think about Lance and NSYNC and Lance now.

kay 17:53

Yeah, I love Lance now, but I, cuz like,

heather 17:57

okay,

kay 17:57

I'll explain this more. So I guess with these

heather 17:59

three, it's just gonna be as a whole. Overall.

kay 18:05

It's gonna be hard for me.

heather 18:06

Me too girl. I really had to think about this. I was driving down the dirt roads like How would I realistically, how would I do this? Because I was an insane girl. I like Backstreet, but I was, Backstreet

kay 18:18

boy girl. I was, I was

heather 18:19

definitely insane. But,

kay 18:20

I did not discriminate. I loved them all. I loved them all. I was more Backstreet girl. I

heather 18:25

love me some Oatown.

kay 18:26

Yep.

heather 18:27

I love me some Five. I do love boy bands. Yes, girl.

kay 18:31

Girl. I had to put so many people onto Five. Do you remember their

heather 18:36

Disney concert?

kay 18:37

Yep. Yep, I still see it in my face. I can't, I can't, in my head right now. And

heather 18:42

now when I think about it as an adult, I'm like, what? I was already older than the crowd that they had in that crowd. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, it was a little bit for me. So for them to have that on Disney

kay 18:53

girl, I have that recorded on VHS. When I'm feeling nostalgic because they were.

heather 19:02

Nasty.

kay 19:03

Now if you gave me them.

heather 19:05

Well they were, they were not really older but they were nasty. Yeah. Like they were older than their um. They were supposed to be

kay 19:10

because Simon wanted something like contradicting the boy next door. Okay. That we had with N'Sync and Backstreet. So he wanted a little more edgy. And that's why I always like that. Cause their first song is Baby When The Lights Go Out. Yeah!

heather 19:25

I listened to the song, I heard it not even two weeks ago. And I'm like, this is a banger. And it can come out now. And it's dirty! Yeah. It's naughty. Girl.

kay 19:34

The other, my other favorite, um, boy band was LFO.

heather 19:38

Okay.

kay 19:39

And, I remember being at Best Buy. With a mother and her son, her son was like 7 or 8, and he had both the 5 album and the LFO album. And he's like, Mom, I really want one. And she's like, Okay, pick which one you want. And I'm thinking, I'm like 13 at the time, I know how dirty both those albums are. And I was like, Uh, what?

heather 20:05

O Town was, O Town.

kay 20:07

Liquid Dreams. That was their first single. O

heather 20:10

Town was kinda, they were kinda nasty too. Yeah. Yeah.

kay 20:13

Because NSYNC and Backstreet were for the girlies. They could, you know, be like Get another boyfriend. Like, you know, I can be that, you know, they were the romantic boy band. Although,

heather 20:26

I was listening to, I was listening to The Call.

kay 20:30

I'm like, that's,

heather 20:32

I love that song.

kay 20:33

But that was their second album, so they had enough time to get out the whole, Actually, that was their third album, my bad. That was their third album.

heather 20:42

That was. So

kay 20:42

they had enough time to separate. I don't know much of that album, but I do like,

heather 20:45

I love that song. They

kay 20:46

had enough time to separate from Right. Being the boy band. So like we're men now. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. But I remember that little boy wanting one of those albums and I'm thinking, girl, don't buy either one of them for them because say you're nerd. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. Let me pick, see, you can be talking about boy bands. Okay. Boy bands. Watch your Hill Horror movies and emo music. Mm-hmm I'm, we're gonna have conversation. Um, okay. Going to Hump JC.

heather 21:18

Okay. I'm gonna

kay 21:19

hump him. I'm not gonna wet him because I don't think he's hot anymore. Just, he's just lost it. Yeah. I'm gonna wet Lance. Me too. He is. He's so adorable, and I know he's gay, but No, he would

heather 21:34

be the perfect Lavender relationship. Exactly. Perfect. That's

kay 21:37

what I was gonna say. It doesn't matter, it doesn't need to be a sexual marriage. We can just, go on trips together, have fun, shop, tell stories, and just, my best friend. Absolutely. I'm definitely down to wetlands. So I'm gonna slash Joey, unfortunately.

heather 21:57

I'm gonna, I'm gonna agree.

kay 22:01

Yeah? Yeah,

heather 22:01

I'm gonna agree with that. For a little bit, I was going back and forth, like, would I hump Joey? Would I slash Jaycee? Because I was thinking of, not Joey in NSYNC. Right. But when he was like in his early 30s. Mid 30s, he was hot. Was he? So, I'm not beGging for it, but I was always a Jaycee girl.

kay 22:22

So, my story is kind of after my One and Done date in episode 3. Okay. Three. Um, it was around this time, I was still kind of talking to my ex because I was traumatized from that date. I was like, maybe I don't want to be out in these streets. Maybe I do want to be, so like, we were kind of talking, but he was, he was still being a little standoffish. So, I was on Tinder.

heather 22:55

Everything's on Tinder.

kay 22:56

So

heather 22:56

my

kay 22:59

catfish story ended three relationships simultaneously. My relationship with Tinder, my relationship with this person that I went on a date with, and then a friendship. So we met on Tinder, he was cool, he had an arrangement of photos. So, I was like, alright, cool, I like this guy, he wasn't like hot or anything, but he was adorable. And, we matched, we were talking, everything was great, we had a lot in common, we laughed together. And then eventually he wanted to take it off of the app into phones. Texting, which, I'm a little weary about because I'm like, you're texting me right now, you're just texting me in an app.

heather 23:54

Like,

kay 23:55

we're texting, you just don't have my number. eventually, I was like, alright, fine. Yes, we can start texting. it was only like, maybe four or five days in. So it's not like we were talking for weeks, but we were talking every single day, all day, for three, four days, that eventually he was like, do you want to FaceTime? So we FaceTimed, and he's laying on the couch with his arm, back, Relaxed. And I'm like, okay, well, this is the guy in the pics. Cool. So we're having FaceTime conversations and he's like, Can I take you out to dinner and we can continue this discussion? Sure. Let's go. And he asked me where I lived and I told him the town that I tell everybody that I live in. So he's like, I know a great restaurant up there. We'll meet at that restaurant. Which for me, I was like, finally, a guy who actually wants to come to me.

heather 24:53

Great.

kay 24:54

Hell yes! And you get to meet him there? So you there, yeah. And he, he did not You could leave when you want. Exactly. He didn't say, oh, you know, come hang out with you or whatever. He's like, I will meet you at that restaurant. It's close to you. Perfect. I call him to let him know that I am, he's like, alright, cool. I'm standing in front of, getting on my car, and I walk up. I swear to you, I thought this man had on a fat suit. 350 pounds, round, that it didn't even look real. Because his face was skinny. And his body was just I'm not fatphobic.

heather 25:46

No, you just gotta be honest.

kay 25:47

Exactly. Yeah. That was my whole issue. But, um. That's about

heather 25:51

everything. No, same like I said, with my lovely little pocket boy friends we were giggling about earlier. Yeah. I, it's,

kay 25:56

it's just all about honesty. Exactly. Yeah. So, I felt awkward, but I, I went on. So, were

heather 26:03

the pictures

kay 26:04

all

heather 26:04

of

kay 26:05

He had old pictures.

heather 26:07

Oh, okay. He had old

kay 26:09

pictures because He had some newer pictures with like how his face looked now. Mm-hmm But they were just like headshot types. Right. But he did have full body pictures.

heather 26:19

Okay. They were just old, obviously. They were just old. Mm-hmm Oh. So

kay 26:22

we had dinner. That's not fair.

heather 26:24

Depends All pictures.

kay 26:24

Exactly. So we had dinner, dinner and it was like the vibe was a little off and he was just trying to be like really funny. Mm-hmm And we did have good conversation. And then once the date was over. I, gave him a hug, went back to my car, and I was just like, How do I go about this? Because I'm not a person who's going to discriminate against you based on how you look physically. No! Of course I have a type. The problem for me was the dishonesty. Yeah, it starts

heather 27:02

off with a lie. Exactly, it started off with a

kay 27:04

lie. He didn't give me the opportunity to say if I'm okay with this. Yeah. He made it seem like he's this person. Right. I'm presenting as this person. I remember that. So now that you see how I really look. You should feel bad. Right. But, no. No, that's not fair. No, it's not fair, because you started that off with a lie. You didn't give me the opportunity to say if I'm okay with this or not. So, you're trying to make me look bad, which he did, because I was like, I don't think we should go out again. Right. And, he didn't necessarily bring up his weight or anything, but I'm sure he knew. Visibly uncomfortable. I mean, he's gotta be prepared

heather 27:50

for

kay 27:51

that if he's gonna lie like that. But, right, he didn't give me a chance to be prepared. He didn't give me a chance to realize that this is something I want or I don't want. Like, it was kind of forced upon me, and now I have to be the bad person. There's a lot. It all

heather 28:07

starts off with a lie, and that's not fair.

kay 28:09

Right. So, I, in turn, did my own lie, and I was like, I'm getting back with my ex. Which I never do. But I was like, I'm getting back with my ex. Because I didn't want to hurt him. But I also did not want to make it seem like I'm being shallow either. Because I didn't feel like I was being shallow. Because I would have given him a chance. If he told me. It's starting

heather 28:35

off as a lie. I couldn't

kay 28:38

trust him I, there was no way I could trust him. Because it felt sneaky, too. it just seems like if you're gonna start off something that sneaky, what else are you gonna be sneaky about? Right, because this is a

heather 28:50

first impression. Like, it's not something that you can even remotely hide, so Yeah.

kay 28:55

No, that's not fair. So, I got home, I told my girlfriend what happened, and she's like, oh my god. Yeah. And her boyfriend at the time was very good friends with my ex. Okay. So, she's on the phone with me, we're talking about it or whatever. He's not with her at this point. So, there was a point in time where she decides she's gonna tell her boyfriend the whole story. Okay. Funny, whatever, I get it. He then tells my ex. Ex calls me one day and is like, I hear you're going out with fat dudes now.

heather 29:35

That's so fucked

kay 29:35

up. Right! So I had to, kind of laugh it off, Yeah, I'm out here, I'm dating, whatever. Are you still friends with this girl now? No.

heather 29:45

Okay, so good, I can bring this up then. I don't like that. I don't like that your friend told her boyfriend.

kay 29:50

Yeah, I want to talk about that too. Yeah, yeah. Because, I have this thing where I get it. That's your, your person. You want to have like those conversations. That's not my fucking person though. My business is not his business. If I'm choosing to tell my friend.

heather 30:04

Yes. No, I stand very firm on this. And I do have girlfriends that they know, they, they agree. Like I told my girlfriend something and then her husband asked me about it. And I was like, Oh, she didn't tell him. And I was like, thank you for not. cause your husband's cool and everything, but I'm obviously not close with him, I'm not confided in him, I'm confided in you and you don't need to tell my business to your husband, your boyfriend, your whatever. Exactly. And

kay 30:30

honestly I probably wouldn't have cared if my ex wasn't one of his best friends. You know what I mean? Because I knew it was going to get back to him. Obviously. And he was going to be. And he was going to use it against you or just be a

heather 30:41

turd, however, whatever he wanted.

kay 30:46

He was being a turd. Don't be a was being a turd. so I confronted her about it and she was like, but that's my boyfriend blah blah, and I'm like, I Oh, that's

heather 30:58

how the friendship

kay 30:59

ended. Yeah. Like, I get that, but now I don't trust you. Because you're just telling my business to So this is where we say goodbye and I ended that friendship real quick. I felt betrayed.

heather 31:16

Absolutely. No, no, no.

kay 31:18

I'm big on my friendships. I, my friendships mean so much to me. I

heather 31:22

1000%. I have been in a very similar situation and it was like, that's not cool.

kay 31:27

Yeah. And I will end a friendship if I can't trust you as a friend, I will end that real quick because.

heather 31:34

If I can't tell you things in confidence, then mm mm.

kay 31:38

Right. Exactly. And I can put that love and effort into that friendship, into another friendship that deserves it. So, into that, haven't talked to them, none of them. So, yeah. That was my catfish. I just could not believe I walked up to a guy who's 350 pounds. He literally looked like he had on one of those sumo wrestler outfits. Like, his head and his body did not match. And when I went to hug him, I had to make sure, like. Was he tall? He's taller than me. Okay. I'm not, that's not saying much. I'm 5'3 Yeah. But like. I had to, pat him down to make sure, I'm like, wait, because the head and the body did not match. even to this day, I'm mind boggled. All right, so we are going to slide into the naughty and nice date kits, more than a hundred dates.

heather 32:36

I got the nice ones.

kay 32:38

Oh, I got the naughty ones.

heather 32:39

Playground. Playground. On a warm spring day, go to the nearby playground and try all the equipment including the monkey bars, seesaw, merry go round, and slides. Very important, make sure your date pushes you on a swing! That's so cute! I like that! Don't forget to bring a ball or frisbee to throw around and pack a few snacks in case you get hungry.

kay 33:04

That's really cute. That's so cute. I want that.

heather 33:06

I love getting pushed to this thing. That's cute.

kay 33:09

One. You gotta make sure. Ain't no kids around.

heather 33:13

True.

kay 33:13

Okay.

heather 33:14

True, you'd have to find out. Yeah. We,

kay 33:16

we're not trying to share the playground. It has to be an empty playground, all to ourselves, and then that would be cute. Yes. Absolutely. You'd find one in

heather 33:23

a little neighborhood.

kay 33:25

Yeah. Yeah, that is adorable. I love it. I

heather 33:27

like the swings though, that's super cute.

kay 33:29

Yeah,

heather 33:29

I love that. That's a good idea. Let's

kay 33:34

see, let's see. I'm just gonna shuffle these. Shuffle.

heather 33:43

Okay.

kay 33:44

Okay.

heather 33:48

Oh, I love this.

kay 33:49

Hotel.

heather 33:50

Oh.

kay 33:51

Check into a hotel and bring along sexy lingerie and champagne. If you have spare change, book a deluxe suite or room with a hot tub.

heather 34:01

Yes.

kay 34:02

And treat yourself to room service. It will be a nice change of pace from the everyday and you might find that being in a different setting brings out a different side of you in the bedroom. Don't forget to hang the do not disturb sign.

heather 34:17

I worked in the hotel industry for many years. So I got to see many a couple do this and seen the cutest things I could probably do a whole friggin episode on that. Just sweet things that I've seen done. Yeah, it's a lot of people do it. It's cute because it is. It's setting you outside. It's, you're not home, whether, even if you live in the same home together, that's the perfect time to do it. To get out of your house and get into a different environment.

kay 34:44

I love it. It's like a little staycation, but you also get the adventure of not being at home. And then add in the hot tub, making it spicy, add in room service, and you can even pretend that you're not even.

heather 34:59

If they have a bar, you could like, yeah, you could both say you don't know each other or something. I love it!

kay 35:05

Do it!

heather 35:06

Please. And tell us about it, because I love

kay 35:10

this idea.

heather 35:11

Aww, that's cute.

kay 35:12

That was a

heather 35:13

really good one. It was

kay 35:13

good, yeah.

heather 35:14

So my one little last mini story this one's gonna be pretty quick This starts on tinder because everything starts on tinder and there was this guy who looked More like modern emo Elvis That's what he looked like.

kay 35:32

I feel like that's hot as fuck. Yeah,

heather 35:34

he was very he was very very very very hot I don't know what time frame this was. Oh god, I'm gonna look bad again like I'm just inviting some fucking dude over, but that's, that's what it was. I invited some fucking dude over. Jesus Christ, I'm gonna look horrible. No, I don't think I have an excuse for this, I think I just let this Pfft. We're gonna take a little debrief for a second. So, I know that it's really easy to have, to let a guy talk you and just like coming over or you coming over to them, you gotta stop. And this, again, is why I say, do as I say and not as I do. Okay? Don't judge me. So, I let this guy come over and spook me up, then he's gotta spook me up, okay? You're spending money on me somehow. So. This, Emo Elvis, very good looking, again, had the phone conversation, he was super chill. He was actually like, really, really, really, really, really, really, like in the end of all this. He was really, really cool. So he comes over, and you know how it's like darker out here. And I see him and I walk up to him and I'm like, something's, something's a little, something's a little off. we get into my hallway, and you know how my hallway is like, overhead lighting. Yeah. I get a good glimpse at him, and his stuff, I could tell, was edited of some sort, but I thought it was like, coolly edited, like that's what he was going for. No, he was going for like, blurred, so the thing was, he was actually really good looking, but he was more like, you know who rolled up? Matt Healy. Yeah. So, you know, I get it. He was, he was actually, he was good looking. I find Matt Healy good looking sometimes. I don't know if he's crazy and he's got his whole thing. But, I can see where there's times where I'm like, Oh, okay, he's kind of good looking. But this guy, I was like, he actually is cute he's just not emo Elvis. Yeah. So, like, okay. I, it's. It's fine. It's whatever. It really doesn't bother me. In the end, he ended up being a turd anyway. But, I was like, I don't care. They're just smoking. We made out. A little H day. And like, that's Cause he was still cute! But I'm like, the editing was It was really blurred.

kay 38:00

See, and that's the thing, guys. Talk shit about girls.

heather 38:04

And I get insecurities, but like It was a big difference. It was one of those things where not really, I mean, no, I mean you're starting off on a lie. You're starting off on a lie. It's not the same. And

kay 38:15

they, and they talk about girls with their filters and stuff, but guys use filters too.

heather 38:19

Absolutely, you love to blur that stuff out because I guess it's he was trying to hide that he had Um, I guess what he would consider bad skin. I'm like, it's really It really I feel like it, if anything, it just draws attention to it. Yeah. It's like, Ooh.

kay 38:36

Didn't see that. That's not the picture. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm saying with my guy. Like, if you let me know, I wouldn't be taken aback by this.

heather 38:47

Absolutely. And he was, he was really cute and he was super duper cool. I don't remember what happened with all that, but. All

kay 38:57

this.

heather 38:58

No, it was Matt Healy. Matt Healy.

kay 39:02

I didn't know Matt Healy was your type.

heather 39:05

He's got, it's darkness, so he's got dark eyes. Any kind of dark eyes can suck me in. Not necessarily, like I said, I'm not like, I don't know if I would go for that, but that's what Was in the situation. And I was like, okay. Yeah, it'll work. It'll work. And he was cool, So we're going to wrap it up with one more little hump, one slash from Pam.

kay 39:32

Thank you, Pam.

heather 39:33

Yes. And I'm happy about this one because what y'all don't know is behind the scenes, we've been through hell. We've been through everything you could possibly think of that could set us back. So in one of our previous. One of our very firsts. Yeah, one of the first times we tried to film, I had used one of these people in my Hunt 1 slash. So I'm happy to see he can get recycled. He

kay 40:00

came back. Yeah. He

heather 40:01

did. So, we have Pee Wee Herman.

kay 40:08

Pee Wee Herman, Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse. You know who Pee Wee Herman

heather 40:13

is. Steve from Blue's Clues. Aww. Aww. Aww. I guess the original Steve,

kay 40:19

right? Yeah. Oh, it was only Steve.

heather 40:21

Cause then he like changed.

kay 40:22

Okay, yeah. I think it was his brother or something? I don't know. Original Steve from Blues. Blues, yeah.

heather 40:27

And Bill

kay 40:28

Nye the

heather 40:29

Science Guy.

kay 40:30

Bill Nye the

heather 40:31

Science

kay 40:31

Guy. Oh! That's a

heather 40:33

good one.

kay 40:33

Yes,

heather 40:33

that's such a great

kay 40:34

one. Thank you, Pam. That is so good.

heather 40:38

I didn't even think about this one, so I had no idea I'm going to have to do it on the spot. I

kay 40:41

know, cause like, I'm trying to Again, take away my kid nostalgia, but like, that's also influencing my choices at the same time.

heather 40:53

Okay. Peewee's going to be different for me in this situation. I don't even remember. In this situation, I'm going to take advantage of that pervert, and I'm going to hump Peewee. Okay. I'm going to marry Steve. Especially like, New Age Steve, when he was like, on TikTok and he like, he came back to talk to us. Yeah. Aw, he'd make an amazing husband. Yeah. And, uh, Bill's old, so I'm sorry. I'm gonna, is Bill, is he still alive? Yeah. Oh, well, I'm gonna have to swat. Thankfully, thankfully Bill Nye is still alive. Oh, you know what, I was thinking of someone different at first, but, yes, Bill Nye, but You were thinking

kay 41:31

like, Mr. Rogers or some shit? No, I don't know exactly who, I

heather 41:36

don't know who I was thinking of. but not Bill. Bill Nye is a nice guy. But, um, he's cool, but we're going to slash him.

kay 41:44

Slashing Bill Nye, wow. I am going to hump Bill Nye. I think even now, as an old man, he can still get it. Because I think he's gonna teach me some things while I teach him some things. Okay? I met Steve as well, just like you said. When he came back, I bawled my eyes out. I

heather 42:07

watched every video they had made. It

kay 42:08

felt like something I knew I needed, but I wasn't getting. And then when I finally got it, it was like, It was cute. It

heather 42:15

was really cute.

kay 42:16

It was amazing because I don't think a lot of people understand the millennial experience. The boomers and Gen X think we're dramatic as fuck. Right. And then Gen Z think we're old. So, like, they just We're not old. I know. And we look young. Nobody gets us like other millennials. We needed that. Everyone did. Even guys that I know were like, Thank you, Steve. We all needed that. It was beautiful. So yes, could you imagine waking up to him and him saying something beautiful to you in the morning to get you pepped up? I hope

heather 42:53

he's married.

kay 42:54

I wonder if he's married. I hope he is, too. So I'm gonna slash P. B. Herman for being

heather 43:00

A pervert.

kay 43:02

A creep.

heather 43:04

Yeah,

kay 43:04

even though he's dead. Sorry, Paul Reubens. Is he? I don't know. I don't

heather 43:08

know anything. I can tell you all about YouTubers, influencers, but I don't know about these actors. I feel

kay 43:13

bad slashing people that are dead. They're already dead.

heather 43:18

It's all in like, heartedness. Yeah,

kay 43:20

it's just fun. Funny games. Thank you, Pam! That was a good one. That

heather 43:24

was a good one.

kay 43:24

Keep sending us your humpwedslash suggestions because We think of random ones, but that was random. I was not prepared for that. and I love it. That is the chaos. We need to continue here. Dating in reverse

heather 43:40

okay, Heathens, closing time. Closing time. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Make sure to like, comment, subscribe. Send in your stories. Send in your homeless slashes and all those good, positive, supportive things. And if you're extra nasty, still didn't get enough, stick around for just the tip.

44:12

You want the tip? You got it. You thought you were getting the Valentine's Day episode. Just the tip. Take, take, take. You never give. We are sitting here asking you for something, for suggest a hot wide slash for storage, a share, a comment, a subscribe. We're not mad. We're disappointed. We're disappointed. And because of that. You're not getting the tip. You're going to have to wait. Just like on Valentine's Day, you're going to have to wait to get some. No tip for you. You don't deserve nothing. We're not disappointed in a few of you. A few of you deserve the flowers. But as a whole, don't be turds. Share. Share, like, comment, subscribe. Link in bio. You know the deal. I oughta tell y'all. So we'll just see you February 13th at 6pm for the Valentine's Day episode. Bye! Goin to get it! Get out. Get the f