The One & Done

  Not every date deserves a sequel, but some leave us wondering what if? In this episode, Heatherr shares her story of a one-and-done date that could’ve been the one—if only things had worked out. Meanwhile, Kay dives into the literal worst date of her life, a disaster so bad you just have to hear it to believe it.

Plus, we’re spicing things up with 2 rounds of Hump, Wed, Slash (our twist on F***, Marry, Kill) featuring some nostalgic childhood crushes. It’s chaotic, cringey, and downright hilarious.

Hit play and relive the awkwardness with us—because we all have that date we’ll never forget. 🖤💔 

Transcript

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kay 0:00

Michael B. Jordan. Creed.

heather 0:03

Like the lead singer of Creed?

kay 0:05

No, like the movie, like the boxing movie. Welcome in, Heathens. This is Dating in Reverse, where we acknowledge the weird and wild cesspool dating culture has become, but we're still diving in headfirst. I'm Kay Heather. And I'm Heatherr Niicole. We're always sharing outrageous date stories, playing a few classic games, so grab your tipple, moisturize your lips, take a hit, and come join us we've got some personal stories for you today involving the individuals that didn't make it past the first date. Just the one and done. We also want to take a moment to thank everyone who watched the first episode.

heather 1:20

Aw, thank you guys so much.

kay 1:21

Thank you, thank

heather 1:22

you,

kay 1:22

thank you.

heather 1:22

We see the support, we appreciate it.

kay 1:24

We appreciate it. I I've been hearing a lot of people's like, I share it with my friends, so talk about it, share it. Let's get this open conversation going because this is what we're here for. You can send us an email, send us a DM on Instagram

heather 1:39

follow, comment, share, all that.

kay 1:41

Like, on our YouTube, all of that. Connect with us so we can connect with you. Today, we'll also be playing our own game. Hump. Wed. Slash.

heather 1:50

My

kay 1:50

favorite. We're gonna do two today. We would love for you to also join in on that fun. Let us know who your choices are.

heather 1:58

Oh my gosh. Submit some, please. Submit ones for us.

kay 2:02

Let us know what you like.

heather 2:04

Oh, I would love that.

kay 2:05

Yeah, join in on the fun. Cause this is your slumber party too.

heather 2:09

the one and the Mine's actually really sad. Because this guy was so hot and he was so cool. And in the end, he was just my karma. Remember how we were having a conversation that I don't Facebook creep anymore?

kay 2:22

Yes.

heather 2:24

We were in that era of not Facebook creeping. We were just, meeting guys and then not. Just doing basic, like, have they been to jail? You know, no social media checking. So, I had had a date with this guy and, oh my god, he was so hot. And there were just specific words that he said. It wasn't like a lisp, but it was like, I guess maybe like kind of what I'm doing, but just the way he pronunciated some words was so freaking hot. He was so hot. He had long hair. He had hair, girl. He had a lot of hair, too. Not a bald guy. No. He was so hot. It was so cool. And we went on a date and after the date, we went around smoking because apparently that's my thing to do. Um, and. We continued the chat my birthday weekend was coming up. So he lived in Annapolis, so he was like, hey, come up to Annapolis for the night. Let's go out for my birthday. I was like, okay, cool. I'm so excited. ,all week long we talk about it. He's like, what do you drink? So I can make sure I have it. Like literally sent me a picture of the alcohol to make sure it is what I want. Like, Oh my God, this is my first birthday in a while. It's actually going to be celebrated by a dude and not like destroyed. I was so excited.

kay 3:38

We can go on and on and on about that shit. Celebrate girls birthdays, even if they say they don't want to.

heather 3:45

Yes, just do something. And don't pick a fight. Oh my gosh, don't ever pick a fight with someone on their birthday. That's just

kay 3:51

Is that another story?

heather 3:52

Oh, no.

kay 3:53

Okay.

heather 3:53

I'm too scared about that.

kay 3:54

I have a story about that.

heather 3:55

I was so excited. it was Friday. And I didn't really hear from him. And that feeling hit me and I was like Like, there go all my birthday plans. So I had to like try to scrummage something together.

kay 4:09

After he already made the plan and then

heather 4:12

made the plans, bought the alcohol, like, like the reason why I know he bought me the alcohol, it was the night before, he went on a goose hunt. We're video chatting for him to find it. And then he had it picture of it up on his counter and everything Guys love to put in all the effort and then rip it away from me.

kay 4:28

Why?

heather 4:28

Well, we'll get there girl.

kay 4:30

Okay. Alright. I'm listening.

heather 4:32

So, we didn't really chat much that day and I just knew, you know, you know what I mean?

kay 4:37

Mmhmm.

heather 4:38

You just, you know.

kay 4:39

The woman intuition.

heather 4:40

But I still wanted a little bit I was like still trying to hold on a little bit cause I'm like that's a lot of effort and just everything to put in to change your mind. So then I finally did hear from him, and it was just completely different than when he was talking. I was like, oh, okay, I get it. And then he said something about rescheduling, and I was like, oh, whatever. And obviously we didn't talk, right? I was so upset. I was so mad at everything, because he was, he was so hot.

kay 5:06

How did you meet him?

heather 5:07

Tinder. Everything's Tinder. Which apparently I say really weird. Tinder. I hear myself, like, saying it on the Reels and other videos, I'm like, what are you saying, girl? It's on Tinder. Tinder. Tinder. Tinder. Tinder. Everything's Tinder. It's always on Tinder. I had a lot of fun on Tinder. but, yeah, I could just tell, obviously we were, we weren't really good.

kay 5:27

The Tinder fizzled out.

heather 5:28

Yeah, we weren't going to chat again, and I didn't really care why we were going to chat again. I don't really care for closure, that's enough for me,

kay 5:33

okay.

heather 5:34

I'll move it along.

kay 5:35

That's fair.

heather 5:35

And then, I was telling one of my friends about it, and she was like, oh, what's his name? I told her and she's like, oh, okay. And we're just chatting. She goes, I found his Facebook, and I was like, fuck.

kay 5:48

Never underestimate a woman's power to find someone. I was like, girl,

heather 5:53

you know I'm not in that era right now. She said, he's back with his ex girlfriend.

kay 5:58

Oh! The worst outcome possible!

heather 6:05

And she was really pretty I've been there, I was like, that's just my karma because there's been so many times that I would date and then my ex would come back and I'm like, okay, sorry, like, you know,

kay 6:15

the conversation is we are human. You can literally say, Hey, sorry, I'm back with my ex. All you have to do is communicate, like, why is it so hard to say something to somebody?

heather 6:28

I'll be honest, when I did go back and tell, you know what I mean, like, when I did, and then my ex would come back around, like, I was honest, I would never just, leave someone. I mean,

kay 6:36

I've ghosted, I've ghosted.

heather 6:38

Yeah, yeah, I have, but not in, like, Like, birthday plans on someone, and then just to ghost them, I'm, I'm not gonna.

kay 6:45

Because, you, honestly, getting back with your ex is a legit thing.

heather 6:49

Yeah, yeah.

kay 6:49

So, I can't fault you for that.

heather 6:52

Well, of course i crept after that. and it was very much one of those toxic,, on again, off again.

kay 6:58

Yeah.

heather 6:58

They were two hot people who probably had really good sex. I get it. I literally was there up until last summer. So, I get it. I was like, this is just my karma. This is my karma. The universe is like, here is this good looking, gorgeous man. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Psych! And, you know.

kay 7:16

Yeah.

heather 7:17

And I very much did not look like his ex girlfriend, so I was like, oh, okay.

kay 7:21

I just don't want to be a placeholder for no one.

heather 7:24

Exactly. So at least I, I at least appreciate the fact that he didn't take me out and sweep me off my feet.

kay 7:30

You didn't get to that part.

heather 7:32

Amongst having his ex girlfriend on the side.

kay 7:34

Yeah.

heather 7:34

Because guys will do that, to you too

kay 7:35

yeah.

heather 7:36

So i, I do appreciate that none of that happened. But

kay 7:40

We gotta get you someone who is going to treat you right on your birthday.

heather 7:43

Oh no, I don't want to talk to anyone. You are not no one's allowed to ruin and more birthdays. I've been through enough I was sad. I'm sad thinking about it now. It happens. You know, pimps cry.

kay 7:54

Did you say pimps cry?

heather 7:57

No, not at all. But that one really did hurt my feelings.

kay 8:01

Yeah. Yeah. You had. When you make the plan with someone, first of all, it kind of sucks

heather 8:06

Well, it just sucks to be that interested in someone. Like, I was really, really, really into him. He was really cool, and he was really good looking.

kay 8:12

What was it about him?

heather 8:14

Um, everything. he had dark eyes and dark hair. I loved just, like, darkness. and he was super chill. Just, like, he's very stoner ish. But not, too much. But just, super relaxed and chill. Yes, absolutely. Some of the words he pronounced were just so hot. I don't, I don't, I don't know what it was.

kay 8:34

But you got excited.

heather 8:35

I did.

kay 8:36

And then him taking the initiative to plan birthday and then just go ghost on you.

heather 8:42

Oh, and he has a really good kisser too. But that's as far as it went, all we did, we kissed. That's it. But I'm glad it only went like that. And then, you know, I didn't sleep with him. And then his girlfriend, you know, comes back around. Cause I get it. I've been there. The back and forth and the back and forth.

kay 8:58

I just hate when guys are like, yeah, I just broke up with my girlfriend two days ago and I'm on the dating apps. Like bro.

heather 9:04

Heal.

kay 9:05

Chill.

heather 9:06

Yeah. Go process what happened.

kay 9:09

I'm, I'm just not like that. I, don't wallow in my breakups, but I allow myself to feel that.

heather 9:15

Yes, you have to. You have to process all that, process all that out. Cause if you don't, it's going to creep up on you.

kay 9:20

Exactly. Cause I've never been the girl that's like I'm going to get back with my ex, I never get back with my ex. Okay. I'm done.

heather 9:28

I'm done now. Fortunately forever, but I wasn't before that. So I was like, it's just really what it is. Like I'm sure previously before that I kind of broke someone's heart because,, I went back to my ex. It's just my karma.

kay 9:43

I don't go back to exes. I will talk and see if maybe we made a mistake, you know, but usually no.

heather 9:51

My problem is I don't like anyone until I'd like them. And then once you're in, I'm like, but now, like, I'm not dealing with anything. You have to run the first time because if you don't run immediately at the beginning of all of it, then the feelings get in and you want to, you know, make the excuse. I mean, I have my line that I draw, but

kay 10:08

it's so hard to date now too.

heather 10:10

It is because no one's ever their ex.

kay 10:12

I'm over my ex.

heather 10:13

I'm definitely over my ex. Yeah, exactly. Absolutely. You don't have to worry about that.

kay 10:17

You don't have to worry about my ex.

heather 10:19

Hump, Wed, Slash? Hump, Wed, Slash! Do you want me to start one? Yeah, you can start.

kay 10:29

Michael B. Jordan. Creed.

heather 10:32

Like the lead singer of Creed?

kay 10:34

No, like the movie, like the boxing movie. Michael B Jordan. Okay. Michael Jordan. Okay. Sorry. Jordan the stallion.

heather 10:49

Okay. Humpin. I can tell you I'm slashing first.

kay 10:54

Yeah, whatever order you want to get in. I'm going to

heather 10:55

slash Jordan the Stallion?

kay 10:58

Yeah, Jordan and Stallion.

heather 10:59

Yeah, I can't remember exactly what he said on Tinder. I can't remember exactly what he said on TikTok, but it irritated me, so I stopped following him. So we can slash him. Yeah, I don't remember. It wasn't anything like, see, girl, I will just remove, block, delete for anything. So, he was a man. What did you do, Jordan? He said something I like, get rid of him. So, I'm gonna marry michael B. Jordan. he was hot. And then I guess I'm humping Michael Jordan. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

kay 11:27

Yeah, Michael B. Jordan is hot.

heather 11:30

Yeah.

kay 11:31

But

heather 11:31

He looks toxic.

kay 11:32

I've heard from Celebrity sources that he is horrible in bed. So, I'm going to, uh,

heather 11:40

oh, i gotta get married to that? Damn.

kay 11:42

Yeah, but like, I feel like I would wed him as well, cause he, although he's not great in bed according to sources, he seems like a decent guy. You know, and the energy that I'm looking for in a person, I feel like he embodies. So, I'm okay with wedding him. I would hump Jordan the stallion. Okay. Anybody who has the stallion in his name feels like that'll be a good time. And that he makes me laugh. Like he, he, I, I don't know what he said that made you upset.

heather 12:17

I don't know. It literally could have been something very stupid.

kay 12:21

But yeah, like I would, I would. Hey Jordan. Um, I would slash Michael Jordan, unfortunately. But I just It's the bald head. I'm done. I'm good. He's like a dad.

heather 12:36

Okay, mine, I got today for ya, okay, we're gonna do Pauly D,

kay 12:44

Pauly D, Jersey Shore,

heather 12:49

Travis Kelce,

kay 12:51

you mean Mr. Taylor Swift,

heather 12:54

yes, and Eminem,

kay 12:55

aww, Eminem, okay, oh my god, I love Eminem, Humping. Oh, that's so hard. Oh my God. What era of Travis Kelce are we talking about? Like pre Taylor or right now,

heather 13:09

the hot one? Whenever. He was hot. He, I mean, he's always hot.

kay 13:12

He was hot pre-Taylor.

heather 13:12

But he does, uh, he does, he tried, he changes his facial hair up a lot. Yeah. So he's,

kay 13:17

that's, that's the problem for me.

heather 13:18

Yeah.

kay 13:18

Like,

heather 13:18

yeah.

kay 13:19

The, the cop mustache and like the I don't like that. I do. Pre Taylor Swift, I'm humping. Okay. Okay. Pre Taylor Swift, I'm humping that Travis Kelce. I'm always gonna marry Eminem. I love Eminem. I love Eminem. He's crazy. He killed, he killed his wife in a song. But, he loves her. He loved her. He loved her enough to write a song.

heather 13:42

Kim.

kay 13:42

Kim.

heather 13:43

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've been, I've been the Kim.

kay 13:47

I'm okay with marrying Eminem. Uh, and then I'm gonna slash Pauly D. Out of the Jersey Shore guys, I love Pauly D.

heather 13:55

Right.

kay 13:56

But he's not what I want in a guy. Like, I would hang out with him. He's not what I would go for. So, what about you? Um,

heather 14:06

I would hump Travis. I would hump Travis with any facial hair. It doesn't matter. Um, I'm definitely going to wed Pauly D because I watched the Jersey Shore Family Vacation so I see even who he is now. And he likes crazy because him and Nikki, like his, I think they're engaged now. They have like a healthy Toxic ish beginning relationship. So I know that there, I know there's spice there. So I would definitely marry him. and then I'm going to have to slash Eminem, which would be very easy for me. He's too much for me.

kay 14:47

Like I realized how toxic, I just,

heather 14:50

on my Instagram stories. I was like, yeah, send me your favorite Eminems. Like I was trying to like. It's a lot.

kay 14:55

It is.

heather 14:56

It's a lot.

kay 14:57

But I've been listening to him since I was like 12, so.

heather 15:00

How do y'all relate to that?

kay 15:02

But like, there's no relating to it. It's just like, holy shit, this guy is crazy and I love it.

heather 15:06

Yeah. All of his songs about Kim. They remind me of a very special time in my life. So I'm like, I get all that. Maybe that's a reason why I don't. He's a lot. It's intense. It's intense. So.

kay 15:19

Because I was young and not realizing exactly the extent of what he was actually saying that I was just like, oh my god, Eminem's so cool! But like, if I were to listen to him as an adult without the kid nostalgia

heather 15:33

Which is what I tried to do

kay 15:34

I probably would have been like, what the fuck?

heather 15:36

It's a lot

kay 15:36

Yeah, it is a lot. I get that. But I love Eminem, so

heather 15:40

He is hot though

kay 15:41

He is very hot

heather 15:42

Again, I'm gonna hump him before I slash him, but

kay 15:45

Okay

heather 15:46

It's a lot Oh, I'm excited because I haven't heard your story.

kay 15:49

Oh, girl. All right. Once Upon a Time was a Business manager for a construction company, one of my responsibilities was to buy all the needs for the job. Tools, hardware, anything they needed to get it done, I had to buy it. So I had relationships with sales people. And in construction, 99 percent of them are guys. my sister happened to be my assistant at the time. So she's the point of contact when you come into the building. She had eyes on like the cameras. Like I know who's coming in. She'll give me a heads up Hey, so and so is coming. And you had to have an appointment to be on the site, but sometimes for the sales guys, they would just show up, but she would just give me the heads up. At the time I had a boyfriend. I had him and my picture up huge in my office. Like, you can't you can't come into my office and not know that that is my boyfriend. I proudly display when I'm in a relationship, That's my baby. Yes.

heather 16:49

My man, my man.

kay 16:50

Exactly. I'm such a

heather 16:52

Me too, girl.

kay 16:52

My man, my man, my man. Yes. Yes. everyone knew that I had a boyfriend. And people would come in and be professional, some would be a little casual, but mostly it was just professional. So there was a time where I had broken up with my boyfriend, picture was gone they knew. It's like, oh, she's single now. So the turned to, so what are you doing this weekend, kind of thing. And it would still be like, cute, but not over the top. It would just be like, a guy who's just trying to get to know you or whatever. So there was this one guy who would come in every now and then, and then when he realized I was single, he came in every Wednesday, like clockwork. Every Wednesday. My sister would be like, Toolman's here. We called him Toolman. One day he came in and he asked me out. And I just wasn't ready for it. I was like, I'm still getting over my ex. I don't think that's a good idea, but thank you. And I hope that you do ask in the future. Like, this is not a no. It's a not right now. He was like, okay, I understand. That's cool. Maybe like three months later, he asked me again. Yeah, he took a good time. And I still wasn't technically ready, but my sister was like, Girl, you better fucking, he's hot. Yeah, she was like, he's hot. He has a good job. He's nice. He's funny. What else do you want? And she convinced me like, if he asks you again, go out with him. He asked me again, and I was like, alright, fine. He was like, I just want to take you to dinner, we can talk, you know, whatever. He lived about 30 minutes south of where we worked.

heather 18:30

Okay.

kay 18:31

I live 30 minutes north.

heather 18:32

Okay.

kay 18:33

It wasn't like we were gonna meet where work was because it was an industrial town. There was nothing there.

heather 18:39

Right.

kay 18:39

So, I volunteered to go to him.

heather 18:43

Oh!

kay 18:44

Because one, I don't like when people know where I live. I even tell people, a surrounding area. I don't tell them the actual town I live in unless we're close.

heather 18:54

I'm horrible about that.

kay 18:57

Like there's a town that everyone knows so I tell them that's where I live and then when they finally get my address they're like, you don't live there. I'm like, I live close enough there. Now you are in the circle to know where I live.

heather 19:07

You're lucky you got my real number.

kay 19:08

Exactly. So I volunteered to meet him because I knew I could drive and leave when I wanted to.

heather 19:15

Right.

kay 19:17

He was like, okay. here's my address. You can meet me at my house. We can have like a pre dinner drink Kay now is like, why the fuck did you go to his house?, why would you go to his house if you didn't want him to come to you? why would you go to his house? But I wasn't thinking. I kinda know this guy from work, and my sister knows where I am, you know, fairly safe. So, as I'm at his house, I see all these trophies and stuff, and I'm like, oh, this guy is still living his heyday from high school. Like, he thinks

heather 19:45

High school trophies? He moved his trophies from his parents house to his

kay 19:50

Displayed all over his living room.

heather 19:53

Oh, okay.

kay 19:53

Yeah.

heather 19:54

We're gonna piss someone off with this, but okay. You know we are.

kay 20:01

I should have known, like, he still thinks

heather 20:03

How old were you when this?

kay 20:04

Twenty

heather 20:05

Well, him. None of you. It doesn't really matter.

kay 20:07

Well, he was 30, in his 30s. Yeah.

heather 20:11

Did you read them?

kay 20:13

Did I what?

heather 20:14

Did you read any of them? What were they for?

kay 20:15

Wrestling. Yeah. But like, he didn't have that athletic build anymore.

heather 20:23

Oh. Well sometimes they're just like tiny and.

kay 20:25

I wasn't going out with him for his body obviously. I thought he was a cool guy. But like. It, it just seemed like he wanted to remember those days, you know what I mean?

heather 20:37

Some people unfortunately peak in high school I wasn't even kinda cute in high school.

kay 20:40

Me either.

heather 20:41

That's fine with me.

kay 20:41

Me either.

heather 20:42

That is fine with me.

kay 20:43

Yeah.

heather 20:44

I did not want to be the most peakish of my life in high school.

kay 20:48

Facts. he also had pictures of a little girl and I realized, holy shit, he has a daughter. I was not mentally prepared to date a guy with a kid.

heather 20:57

Did he tell you that before?

kay 20:58

No. We worked together. Kind of worked together. Cause he would come in. We had a working relationship and I never knew he had a daughter.

heather 21:06

Right. That's something you need to tell people before a date.

kay 21:08

Noting all of this stuff, you know.

heather 21:10

Yeah.

kay 21:11

So, we go to dinner. And.

heather 21:13

Oh, this is all before.

kay 21:15

Yes. Laughs.

heather 21:18

You're like, well, if I drove an hour, I might as well eat.

kay 21:21

The fun begins at dinner.

heather 21:23

Oh my gosh.

kay 21:23

So, he drove to the restaurant, which again, I'm like,

heather 21:29

Oh,

kay 21:30

yeah. I should have just, but whatever. It would have been awkward, I think, if I would have been like, I'll just follow you to the restaurant even though we're on a date. You know what I mean? But I could have done that, but when I was young, I was just like, I'll go with you. it was one of those restaurants that there was. The booth side and then the table and then there's chairs. So you're not both in the booth. Okay, he sat on the booth side Ask your date where they want to sit. First of all, like we most likely Like the boo side, it's comfy, you know? But he took the boo side.

heather 22:03

It's also a security thing.

kay 22:05

Yes.

heather 22:11

So

kay 22:11

there was a guy to his left and a woman to his right. Cause we're all like, they're just tables.

heather 22:18

Was it like Cheesecake Factory seating?

kay 22:20

yeah.

heather 22:20

Oh, that's close. It's like you're on a date with the people next to you.

kay 22:22

Exactly. So they could hear everything. There also happened to be a guy playing music. So he goes, oh great, here's this guy fulfilling his, fantasy of being a professional performer. Something along those lines. Like, he was like, oh great. And I was like

heather 22:43

As he just pulled away from his 15th high school trophies.

kay 22:46

Exactly! Exactly! Like, he was not happy about it. The guy sitting next to him was like, oh yeah, that's my brother.

heather 22:54

Oh!

kay 22:56

And he turned

heather 22:58

Oh wait, he said it out loud?

kay 22:59

Yes! He turned so red that he just shut up. And I was like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed.

heather 23:07

Oh my gosh.

kay 23:08

Yeah, so, the night goes on, we're like looking at the menus and I'm like, oh jeez, I don't even know what I want to eat. This man says, Oh, are you pretending that you're not going to get the chicken?

heather 23:21

The chicken?

kay 23:22

Yeah. Why? Because I'm black? I gotta eat chicken? Really? Really? I was like, what?

heather 23:32

Oh my god.

kay 23:33

Are you pretending you're not going to eat the chicken? The woman next to him on the other side of him, she like kind of glanced over and I was like,

heather 23:43

wow.

kay 23:43

he said that? But like, and that wasn't confrontational. I would say something now, but back then I was like, I'm just gonna ignore this shit. I'm gonna eat my food, and I'm gonna go home. And I'm just gonna like, he thought he was being funny, you know. I'm gonna ignore it.

heather 24:02

My face won't be able to hide it, that's my problem.

kay 24:04

But I had the menu, luckily, I was like looking in the menu like, this motherfucking thing. But, uh, I was like, you know what, I'm actually feeling I don't eat red meat a lot, but I was like, I want a steak.

heather 24:16

Yeah, obviously.

kay 24:18

He was like, are you sure?

heather 24:19

The biggest one. The biggest, top, bestest one.

kay 24:23

He said, are you sure you want a steak? You don't want a salad or something? And I was like, are you insinuating that I need to eat a salad? Like, am I fat?

heather 24:34

Or that you're cheap?

kay 24:35

Right. But I was like, are you insinuating that I'm fat? Like, and he's like, no, I just know girls. They don't really eat a lot. I don't know what girls you've been going out with, but I eat.

heather 24:47

I'm eating half a cheesesteak sub when we're done this. And I ate the first half before we did this.

kay 24:52

And even if I don't eat, I'm saving it to eat later. Like I'm going to finish my food. Yeah, I'm going to finish my food. It might not be right here, but I'm going to finish my food. The server comes, and this man starts to order for me. And he's trying to order me a salad. I was like, kindly sir, that's not what I want to eat. I ordered the steak and a baked potato because that's what I wanted. Yeah, I ordered what I wanted. Like,, don't take me out. And then try to

heather 25:24

Yeah, because he wasn't even doing it in like a, uh, Well, I mean, I guess if it's your man, he can order for you. But he didn't know what you wanted.

kay 25:30

He didn't know me.

heather 25:31

And then he asked, and then he didn't even get what you wanted.

kay 25:34

Yeah, he was still insinuating I should be eating a salad.

heather 25:37

Right, exactly. What a turd.

kay 25:39

So I told the server what I actually wanted and he was like, okay, great. I'll send this to the kitchen for you guys. And he, when he walked away, my date was like, so you really did want a steak? Yeah, bro. I did. What's wrong with that? I can't eat a steak. Okay. Date goes on and

heather 25:57

are you at least drinking?

kay 25:59

No, because I'm an hour away from home at this point, so

heather 26:03

And you want to go home, obviously.

kay 26:05

Yeah, so I was not drinking. And, like, every time he would say something, like, snippy, he said a lot of racist things. I can't even remember all the racist shit he was saying, but he said a lot of racist shit. He said a lot of misogynistic shit. And it was like, bro, you're on a date with a black woman. Like, you

heather 26:23

Right?

kay 26:25

Blew my mind because he was not this guy.

heather 26:28

Why didn't you say any of this shit at work? We would have had to get here.

kay 26:34

Right! It was night and day.

heather 26:36

That's so weird.

kay 26:37

in the middle of the meal, I'm like ready to go. I go to the bathroom. And I come back from the bathroom. This man is eating my food. He said, Oh, I thought you didn't want any more. Like you haven't been eating. I thought you didn't want it. I'm paying for the steak. I'm going to eat it. I was like, I'm just going to take it home. Eating my food. I was like, you can have it now. Like, I don't.

heather 27:05

Oh my God. Again, boyfriend, husband, something, someone, you know, that's fine. Ew.

kay 27:11

Fully ate all his food and then took my plate while I went to the bathroom and started eating. Yeah. So we ended the night. Went back to his house to get my car and I was like, Great, thanks. And he was like, I'll see you at work. And I'm like, fuck.

heather 27:30

Unfortunately.

kay 27:30

Yeah. I forgot. I forgot you'll see me at work. Fuck. and then he went in for a kiss. My reflexes weren't good. Yeah, like my reflexes weren't that good. So he actually landed the kiss and I was like, But it wasn't like a romantic kiss. It was just like a. So, the next day I went to work, so that was like a Friday night or a Saturday night, so the next day when I got to work on Monday, I was telling everybody, like, you will not understand.

heather 28:04

Tool man is a tool.

kay 28:05

Yeah, tool man is a tool, yes. So, that Wednesday came, and I knew he was coming that day, and I told my sister to give me the heads up when he came, because I was going to act like I was in a meeting.

heather 28:15

Right.

kay 28:16

He came, and I ran to one of the female engineer's offices, and I was telling her about everything. And she's like, oh my god! And she like phones up the other female engineer, there's two female engineers!

heather 28:29

So you could have a meeting?

kay 28:29

Yeah. So we could have a meeting.

heather 28:31

About what he said.

kay 28:32

And yeah.

heather 28:32

And what he did,

kay 28:33

exactly. And as the other female engineers coming into the office, I could see him walking down the halls looking in the offices for me because he knew I wasn't in my office. So I was like, get in here and like, we slam the door

heather 28:48

makes him think that that was a good date.

kay 28:49

I guess because it ended with a kiss. I don't know. I don't know. But he did text me after the date and everything and I just didn't say anything I was just like, I can't. I can't do this. But my sister, who's the MVP, was like, Oh yeah, they're in a meeting. she'll get back to you when she can. And I never talked to him again.

heather 29:11

He didn't come back the next Wednesday?

kay 29:12

He did. He kind of got the hint, but then I also found out that he got fired for something. So he never even came back to the site after that.

heather 29:21

He had no reason, he didn't have a job.

kay 29:22

I'm sure he probably said some racist shit or something to get him fired. But like, I just couldn't understand why you would ask a woman who's of color and you don't like black people or you don't like women like why why were we on this date to begin with it was the worst date of my life

heather 29:41

that's so weird

kay 29:42

He just had me so fooled because i thought he was such a nice guy

heather 29:46

right in the office

kay 29:47

and he never gave off those vibes my worst date my one and done date hump Wed Slash

heather 29:57

you want me to go first?

kay 29:58

Yeah.

heather 29:58

Okay., my first one is Jared Leto when he was emo, when he was hot.

kay 30:04

Like, as the singer of the band?

heather 30:07

Yeah, as the singer of the band when he was hot, and not in a cult, and not crazy. The one I used to dream about. the second one, I is. Tiny Hands?

kay 30:18

I don't know who that is. Hold on.

heather 30:20

Yeah.

kay 30:21

Let me look this up.

heather 30:22

y'all look it up too.

kay 30:25

Tiny hands?

heather 30:26

Yeah. We can't say much about tiny hands on here.

kay 30:30

These images! I was not expecting! Is this him?

heather 30:34

Mhm.

kay 30:35

God, he looks fucking psycho.

heather 30:38

That's him.

kay 30:38

Okay.

heather 30:39

Mm yeah, be careful what site you click on for information about him. carefully look him up., and the last one is Do you remember Xenon Girl of the 21st century

kay 30:51

Zoom

heather 30:51

Zoom Zoom? Yes. Yes. His name is, I don't even know how to pronounce that.

kay 30:56

Protozoa

heather 30:57

Pro. Yeah, you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Protozoa. So to recap. 'cause that was a lot. Jared Leto when he was hot and in the band and not Crazy. tiny hands and protozoa proto.

kay 31:14

Oh God, this is hard. Oh, this is hard. Is his name really Tiny Hands? That's what he goes by?

heather 31:21

That's what he goes by. You know, when you're bored, maybe you can look him up in action.

kay 31:26

Oh, it says Small Hands. Is that his name? Small Hands?

heather 31:28

It's not Small Hands. Is it tiny hands? They all say small hands. They do all say small hands, but I swear to God it was tiny hands.

kay 31:36

Yeah, everything says small hands. I

heather 31:38

swear to God, maybe that, I swear that's a Mandela effect, cause it was tiny hands. I'm telling you it was tiny hands.

kay 31:43

I will say small hands I'm going to slash him because I don't know anything about him. Other than, apparently, according to Google, he has a nine inch dick. Which seems like it would be fun to hump, but I don't know him in action, so I can't say.

heather 32:02

I've seen him in action.

kay 32:04

Slash him. I'm going to marry protozoa. Because Of like, being a little kid. He was so cute and like, just, I just loved Protozoa.

heather 32:16

He was a cutie.

kay 32:17

You could not be a kid in that era and not sing that song all the time.

heather 32:21

It's gonna be in my head for the next week, and now it's gonna be in y'all's head for the next week.

kay 32:24

You're welcome!

heather 32:25

Zoom, zoom, zoom.

kay 32:26

Make my heart go boom, boom.

heather 32:28

Oh my god, that's so cute.

kay 32:30

so yeah, I'm marrying him and I'm gonna hump Jared Leto because he's hot as fuck.

heather 32:36

I used to have, for like five years, I used to have dreams about him.

kay 32:39

Really?

heather 32:40

Yes. And I didn't even really listen to his music back then. He was just so hot.

kay 32:44

He was hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He, I still think he's hot.

heather 32:47

He still is now. Yeah. Oh my god, with that long hair.

kay 32:49

Yeah, he's still hot.

heather 32:50

That Jesus look, he's pulling it off. But he's

kay 32:51

He's still hot. And he's in his fifties looking like that.

heather 32:55

Oh, that's right.

kay 32:56

Yeah. He's still hot.

heather 32:58

That cult's doing him good, I guess. But I think it's like, super controversial. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it's just like a Can you know those like, in the woods cults? And they're just doing their thing, and then there's like What was his name that killed the people? Charles Manson? Was it Charles Manson?

kay 33:12

Well, he led the cult like he.

heather 33:14

Right, right, right. So you

kay 33:15

didn't actually k-ll people

heather 33:16

yeah. There's like that kind of cult So who do you want wed in the slash? I am going to

kay 33:24

I think I know now. I think I know at this point.

heather 33:27

I'm going to hump I can't What's his name again?

kay 33:31

Protozoa?

heather 33:31

Proto Yes, girl. Tell me the rest. I'm gonna hump Protozoa.

kay 33:35

Uh huh.

heather 33:36

Uh huh. I'm gonna wed

kay 33:38

Tiny hands.

heather 33:41

She knows ya girl. And I'm gonna slash Jared Leto. But again, I'm probably gonna try to hump him before I do.

kay 33:48

Even though you've had dreams about that man, you're gonna slash him?

heather 33:53

You gotta part ways. I found small hands. no. I swear it was tiny hands, but I guess small hands.

kay 34:00

I'm gonna look this guy up.

heather 34:07

You're nasty. Speaking of nasty okay,

kay 34:13

I gotta do my hump wed slash.

heather 34:15

Oh, that's right, yep.

kay 34:16

Okay, guys, I don't think would make it past the first date. Pete Davidson.

heather 34:23

ohhh.

kay 34:28

Oh. MGK, Kanye West.

heather 34:34

Oh, gosh. that one's kind of easy.

kay 34:37

Mm-hmm

heather 34:38

Um, wait, I'm gonna brain fart. Is Pete Davidson the hot one or the dude from fall out boy,

kay 34:43

the guy that used to date Ariana Grande. The SNL guy.

heather 34:47

Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, that's easy. I'm going to Kanye.

kay 34:53

We got Pete Davidson Mm-hmm mGK.

heather 34:55

Mm-hmm I'm gonna, unfortunately Hump MGK, I'm definitely gonna, wed, Pete Davidson Bebe please today. Any day, all day. And then I'm obviously gonna slash Kanye.

kay 35:05

Same exact.

heather 35:06

Really?

kay 35:07

Exactly.

heather 35:08

Oh, I love the crazy of P two.

kay 35:12

Yeah.

heather 35:12

I love him.

kay 35:13

I hundred percent agree.

heather 35:14

Ariana's album to him. I get it. I get it. Like I get it. I see it in her eyes when she looks at him. I get it.

kay 35:21

Yeah, I get it too. I get it. And. As far as MGK is concerned, he's not my favorite person, but we share the same birthday, so

heather 35:32

He's so skinny, so, obviously.

kay 35:35

We share the same birthday, so I know how I am, so I'm hoping he's like me.

heather 35:42

That's cute. What sign is Megan Fox?

kay 35:45

Oh, I think she's a Taurus too, I'm not sure.

heather 35:47

That sounds about right.

kay 35:49

Yeah, they're both Taurus's.

heather 35:51

Oh.

kay 35:51

That bull headedness. Yeah.

heather 35:53

They're still together, isn't she pregnant?

kay 35:55

Yeah, but I heard that they broke up.

heather 35:56

Oh.

kay 35:57

After she announced her pregnancy, because apparently he cheated.

heather 36:00

What?

kay 36:00

Yeah.

heather 36:01

Why?

kay 36:01

Exactly. You got Megan Fox, bro. And that's not enough for you. You got her pregnant.

heather 36:08

That's just weird. Why do people do things like that?

kay 36:10

Yeah, and when I say I hope he's like me, I don't mean that. Like, I've never cheated, I've never done that, but like, personality wise.

heather 36:16

We're talking about mGK?

kay 36:17

Yeah, MGK.

heather 36:18

Prior to all this.

kay 36:19

Yes, yeah. I think it's funny we used MGK and Eminem in the same episode.

heather 36:25

Oh, yeah, that's right,

kay 36:26

but that's the chaos that you're gonna get with dating in reverse okay, heathens go on and get! But before you do, make sure to like, comment, subscribe, all those good, positive things. Our link tree will be in our bio, so you can contact us thoughts, concerns, all those good things. Send us your stories, send us your Hump Wed Slashes we want to hear that. And if you're still extra nasty and you didn't get enough, stick around for just a tip. Okay, wait, wait, wait. We need a warning here. The following episode contains explicit language, which may be offensive to some viewers and is definitely inappropriate for children. The content within this episode is intended for mature audiences only. And if you're family, you might want to sit this one out. Here's just a tip, but you're gonna want the rest. I remember getting that text from you. Like, he said my pussy on fire.

niecy 37:27

Instantly, I was on my back. Let me tell you something. I was on my back with my legs in the air. Like, oh my god. Alright, I can't help it. That's the first thing. Oh my god. Like, my pussy is on fire. cause of you.

kay 37:48

Not once, but twice.

niecy 37:50

Twice. The second time, when i tell you i was livid, i was livid.

heather 37:54

not for everyone.

niecy 37:55

Leave. Just leave. Oh my god. to do anything, I don't want you to say anything. Just leave.